


And Now We Are Three

by onlybritainisgreat (frecklesarechocolate)



Series: An Encumbered Life Becomes The Only Thing [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Humor, Cute, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, Schmoop, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 36,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/509147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frecklesarechocolate/pseuds/onlybritainisgreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas and Dean have a daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Isn't she lovely?

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by stilesplaidshirts.tumblr.com. Thanks!
> 
> Leda is a variation on Letitia, which means "joy" or "happiness".

The first time Dean Winchester held his baby daughter in his arms, he expected to feel terror. He expected that he would feel the weight of the responsibility of caring for a small, helpless creature. He expected that he would worry endlessly about all of the creatures of the supernatural that were out there, wishing harm on any member of the Winchester family.

What Dean did not expect to feel was complete peace. 

When the nurse handed him the baby (they hadn't yet chosen a name) and he looked down into her beautiful face, her little baby fists waving about in the air, he felt none of the emotions that he had been expecting. What he felt instead was the sense that not only was his daughter the most perfect being in the whole world, but that everything would be fine. Yes, there would be the normal difficulties associated with having a child (and he already had plans for any future suitors that his daughter might have, because he knew how teen-aged boys thought and no fucking way would they be allowed within 100 feet of his house, let alone his daughter). Yes, there would be struggle. But somehow all of his fears about the supernatural faded away.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and the baby, nestling into Dean's broad back. Dean turned his head and looked at Castiel, who smiled at the wide-eyed wonder that he saw in Dean's eyes. He kissed Dean on the cheek and gazed down at their daughter, who scrunched up her eyes as she yawned sleepily.

"She's perfect," Dean whispered. He felt Cas nodding in reply. Dean spoke to his daughter. "Hi there. We're your Daddies. We want you to know that you are loved." He kissed her on the crown of her head. 

Cas reached up and put his palm on her head in a blessing, his large hand engulfing her tiny head. "You are loved," he whispered.

A few feet away the pediatric nurses stood at the desk and watched the small family tableau quietly. Each family responded to the birth of a new child in different ways, but this family seemed different. The two rough-looking men had entered the hospital earlier looking ready for battle and terrified at the same time. But their daughter had tamed them somehow, and no one really believed that they were imagining the glow of happiness that surrounded the trio.


	2. (New) Parents Just Don't Understand

Leda became Dean and Castiel's world. At some point along the way, everything else faded into the background. Angels, demons, Hell, Purgatory, none of it seemed to matter as much as _her_. Her comfort, her well-being, her future. Those were the things that drove man and angel from dawn 'til dusk and back again.

They became the kind of parents who could _only_ talk about their child and how perfect she was, and the milestones that she hit and what percentile she was in for height and weight and each new thing she did and all the discoveries she made during every second of every minute of every day. 

It was driving Sam batty.

At first, Sam was thrilled that Dean and Castiel were so happy. He also thought that Leda was beautiful and perfect (although he could do without the crying, I mean really, the crying could just grate on the nerves, how did they listen to it every day?). She was adorable and he liked to hold her - for a little while - and he didn't mind taking care of her for a couple of hours so Dean and Castiel could have some time together, or so they could nap or something.

But when it got to the point where he received text messages with photos of Leda three, four, five times a day, and she was wearing the SAME DAMN EXPRESSION in each one...well, Sam was just about done.

He tried being nice about it.

"Hey Dean, thanks for all those pictures. They're great. But you know… you don't have to send them all the time. It's kind of nice to look at a few every one in a while, really." 

"Sammy! I know, isn't she gorgeous! That last one, with the little spit bubble, oh my god, Cas and I had to fight over who got to keep that one."

"Yeah, great, Dean." 

"I'll keep sendin' 'em, since you like them so much." 

"Uh, thanks. Dean. That's. Awesome." 

He went with less subtle.

"Really, Cas, I don't need all these pictures of her. I know what she looks like, and I see her like once a week, so..." 

"Her expressions change on a daily basis. It is fascinating to watch how her face grows. I have a retrospective on her nostrils that I can send you."

"Uh...really, that's OK. Um. I'll talk to you later, Cas." 

"Good-bye, Sam."

He tried forthright. 

"Dude. Stop sending me all these pictures. The memory on my phone is full."

"Aw, that's so sweet, Sammy. Just download 'em, we'll keep 'em coming." 

"..."

"See ya tomorrow, Sammy!"

So now, Sam was at his wit's end. Because he knew he couldn't take it anymore. He just knew that he was going to snap like a twig and it was just not going to be pretty. And there would be yelling, and threats and if Leda were there, there would also be tears, which would lead to incriminating stares from the king of stares, Castiel. Which might end up in smiting.

He did not want to be smited. 

Which really meant that Sam had to make a choice. And his choices really sucked.

He was going to either have to a) leave the country, b) break ties with Dean and Cas or c) just give up and give in.

Sam weighed his choices and found every single one of them lacking. None of them satisfied his basic need to be a part of a family, to be a brother, and a friend (brother in law? that hadn't ever been discussed, really), and yes, to be an uncle. None of them got him out of the endless torture of baby-spit-bubble pictures.

God help him when she learned to walk. And talk. And when she entered kindergarten. And forget middle school or high school.

He was doomed.

How had it come to this? Sam Winchester, slayer of demons, vessel of Lucifer, all around badass, and he was going to be taken down by a 3-month-old baby. He groaned, the picture of abject misery. 

His phone, which gave a jangle, interrupted him from his pity-party. He had a new text message. Probably another photo of Leda. Maybe this time she'll be covered in spaghettiOs, Sam thought.

But when he picked up his phone and checked the message, it was just a text from Dean.

_Sammy - u, me, beers? No baby talk, promise._  

Sam stared at the text for a few minutes. Run for the hills? Give up and give in? He sensed a chick-flick moment, almost hearing Dean’s voice bitching at him in his head. Compromise, how about that?

He texted back his response.

_Yeah. And you can have a whole 10 minutes of uninterrupted Leda-talk. See you soon._

Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad, after all. Maybe.

 


	3. A Milestone is Reached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leda's first word.

When Leda was 5 months old, she spoke her first word. They were at Sam's house, sitting in the living room enjoying each other's company. The last few months had been more than quiet, and while Dean and Castiel were more than happy to keep it that way, Sam was worried. This much quiet could only be the calm before the storm, and he was afraid of what might come next. However, nothing that he said seemed to sway Dean out of his baby-induced euphoria, something that had gone on since he and Cas had brought the baby home from the hospital.

Now she was seated on Castiel's lap and she was pointing out things in the living room. Cas identified every object that Leda pointed to ("Yes, that's a demon killing dagger. You mustn't touch it. That is a bottle of holy water. You can drink that, but it's better to leave it in case your Uncle Sam needs to use it.").

Dean frowned at his brother. "Jesus, Sam, you couldn't have put some of that stuff away? This place isn't safe for a baby!"

Sam shrugged. "There's too much of it, I don't have anywhere to put it."

Leda pointed at Sam, and Cas accommodated by saying "That's your uncle, Sam. This is his house."

Leda, who had been burbling nonsense words pretty much nonstop since she had woken up, paused and looked back at Cas and then again at Sam. She pointed at her uncle and distinctly said "'Am!"

All three men stared at Leda, their jaws open. She continued to repeat herself for another 30 seconds or so and then redirected her attention to Dean. She pointed at Dean and said "'Am!" again. Sam snorted with laughter.

"No, Leda, that's Daddy," Castiel said.

Dean leaned over to his daughter. "Can you say Daddy, sweetheart?"

"'Am!" Leda said again. 

Dean and Cas glared at Sam, who burst into laughter. "Guess we know who her favorite is, huh?" Dean chucked a sofa pillow at Sam, hitting him full in the face.


	4. Dinnertime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god this is so much schmoop and fluff and crack I just can't even. I've been working on some pretty angsty other parts of the story that I really needed the schmoopiness today, so that's what you're getting. 
> 
> There is some allusion to some stuff that's supposed to take place before Leda is born that I'm also working on. Again with the angst. 
> 
> Llama Llama Red Pajama is written by Anne Dewdney and she owns the entirety of that work. The Very Hungry Caterpillar is written by Eric Carle. I love the idea of Cas reading bedtime stories.
> 
> Finally, I am sure that I've gotten some of the stuff about feeding and talking and developmental milestones off. I did do some research on it, but not hardcore, really, just enough for plausibility. Sort of.
> 
> This has not been beta'd at all, I just really wanted to post it. I am still looking for additional beta readers, especially for the angsty stuff, so please contact me if you're interested.
> 
> Thanks!

"No!" Leda's face was screwed up into a portrait of denial, and she was squirming away as much as she could in her seat, which is to say, not very much. Dean had placed her in her high chair and was attempting to feed her some dinner, but Leda was having none of it. She had learned the word "no" very quickly, and was not at all shy about using it.

"Come on, Leda, just a little bit. For Daddy, okay?" Dean tried again, bringing the spoonful of the pureed...what the heck was this stuff, anyway? Sweet potato. Okay, maybe he could understand why she wouldn't want any of it, but then again, she had to eat something. And he'd already prepared this stuff. It wasn't like they could afford to throw away perfectly good food. Dean grimaced a bit at this, because when did he start sounding so much like a parent?

"No!" Leda said again.

Oh. Right. That's when.

"It's good for you, honey, come on, just try it."

Leda was twisting and contorting herself in the chair to get away from the little spoon that Dean was holding in front of her, as if the proffered mush was some sort of poison. For all Dean knew, it was. He sighed. "Okay, what if I try a little bit of it first? If I eat a little, will you try then?"

"No! No, no no!" Leda said again, but she had stopped twisting in the chair and straining against the straps. She watched the spoon with great interest as Dean brought it up to his lips. He really, really hoped it wasn't disgusting because there was no way he would be able to fake liking this stuff if it was.

Huh. It wasn't that bad, actually. He smacked his lips noisily and smiled widely at his daughter. "Mmm, that's yummy, sweetheart. I think I'll have another spoonful." He dipped the spoon into the bowl and brought out a heaping helping of it. Leda's eyes tracked the spoon from the bowl to Dean's mouth. Before he could put the spoon in his mouth, however, Leda shouted another "NO!"

Gotcha. Dean raised an eyebrow at her. "No? I thought you didn't want to have any. If you're not going to eat any of it, then why shouldn't I?" 

"NO!" Leda said again. Dean couldn't help but smile at her single-mindedness.

"So now you want to try some, huh?" Dean asked. Leda gave Dean a distrustful look, as if she was expecting some kind of trick. Well, in all fairness, that was kind of what Dean was doing, but it was sweet potato mush, not some kind of evil potion or anything.

Leda nodded hesitantly, just once. "Yes?" she said, uncertainty filling her voice.

Dean put the enormous spoonful to his lips and licked off just the top of it so he wouldn't get sweet potato mush everywhere (well, that would happen anyway, but he could at least try), made more yummy noises before he brought the spoon to Leda's mouth. She opened her mouth wide and leaned forward to capture it. Dean pulled the spoon out gently, leaving as much of the sweet potato inside as he could, and then he used the spoon to catch the dribbles from the corner of her mouth.

Leda's eyes grew wide as she experienced the burst of flavor on her little baby tongue, but she didn't swallow or anything, until Dean made more lip-smacking noises with his own mouth, showing her what to do. Then she copied Dean (getting a little bit more sweet potato on the outside of her mouth in the process), and swallowed down her mouthful.

"More?" Dean asked, the tiny spoon hovering over the bowl.

Leda nodded. "More!!!"

Dean grinned and fed her some more of the mush, until it was almost entirely gone. A great deal of it ended up on her cheeks and yes, even a bit in her dark curly hair, but after a few minutes, her blue eyes turned glassy as she filled up, and she had a blissful, contented look on her face. It was not unlike the look Cas got when he and Dean were snuggling (yes, snuggling, dammit), and Dean ran his fingers through Cas's hair. They both looked pleased and satiated, Dean thought, and a warm, happy feeling settled low in Dean's stomach as he realized this.

Dean put the spoon and bowl in the sink and grabbed a towel that he moistened so he could clean Leda off before releasing her from her chair. She squirmed a bit under his ministrations, but he was able to get most of the sweet potato off her face and out of her hair. When he picked her up, she wrapped her arms around his neck, buried her face in the crook of his neck and sighed contentedly. Dean couldn't help but repeat her sigh to himself as he walked with her into the living room, where Cas was seated, examining a map.

Cas looked up and smiled. "All finished?" he asked.

Dean nodded. "Yep. She actually seemed to like the sweet potato mush."

"Oh good. I was hoping that she would." He held out his arms to Dean, who gave him Leda.

"Poppa!" Leda said, snuggling into Cas's arms.

"Hello, angel. Did you enjoy your dinner?"

Leda nodded solemnly. "Story?"

"Certainly. How about...." Cas shuffled through the storybooks that covered the coffee table until he found one that he thought Leda would like. "How about Llama Llama Red Pajama?" Cas held up the book with the llama on the cover, and Leda reached for it eagerly.

Cas settled back on the couch with Leda in one arm, snuggled up against him, while he held open the book with the other hand. He began to read. "Llama llama red pajama reads a story with his mama."

Dean smiled softly and went back into the kitchen to clean up. Who would have thought that Dean and Castiel, badass hunter and angel would have this, this domestic bliss, with a small girl who had obviously wrapped them around her little finger? The idea of an Angel of the Lord (and Dean almost always thought of the phrase in capital letters) reading aloud a book about a llama in red pajamas just blew him away.

In a totally good way, of course.

By the time Dean had cleaned up in the kitchen, Cas had finished reading about the llama, and was onto reading about the very hungry caterpillar. Leda's eyes were drooping, and Cas seemed to be having a hard time keeping awake as well. Dean settled down on the couch next to Cas and Leda and put his arm around the angel, cuddling in close to his family. Leda yawned loudly, and didn't object when Dean pulled the book out of Cas's hands to put it on the table. They sat cuddled together for a long while, as Leda's breathing grew rhythmic and deep. Dean kissed Leda on the top of her head and then kissed Cas as well, who smiled into Dean's lips. Cas quirked an eyebrow at Dean when Dean pulled away, asking a question that he didn't want to put into words for fear of waking their daughter. 

Dean kissed Cas again and nodded. "Yes. Happy," he whispered.

"I told you so," Cas replied, a small smirk on his lips.


	5. You mean it's supposed to feel this way?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leda's first day of kindergarten.

The morning of Leda’s first day of kindergarten was filled with emotional drama. Not for Leda, she was excited to go to school with the big kids. And she got to go all day, which means she would get nap time, which she has heard is just the best thing since cookies. (This is Castiel's new favorite phrase. Dean wasn't sure where Cas got it from, and sometimes it's irritating as hell, but not when Leda uses it.)

So on that bright September morning, Leda was the first one to wake up in the Winchester household, and she ran down the hallway and burst into her parent's room. She jumped onto the bed, waking Dean and Cas up from very deep slumbers.

"Daddy! Poppa! Wake up! I'm going to kinder school today!" She bounced a few times on the bed until she lost her balance and fell on top of her fathers' legs with a shriek of giggles. 

Dean rolled over and looked at Cas through one eye. "This must be from you. I was NEVER this excited to go to school." Cas grunted in response and then heaved himself up and grabbed Leda, tickling her.

"Well, if it's time for school, then someone should probably wash her face and brush her teeth." He kissed her on the top of her head. "And Poppa will make Daddy get up and make you breakfast."

Dean snorted and muttered, "So that's how it is, huh?" But he got out of bed anyway and headed to the kitchen.

Leda bounced off the bed and went to wash up.

Breakfast was a lively affair, with Leda enumerating all the things she wanted to do at school that day. Dean and Cas just watched her, smiles on their faces, independently marveling at the fact that not only was their daughter five, but that she was so full of life and so beautiful and so excited about the prospect of going to school and learning new things.

However, Dean couldn't shake a deep feeling of unease, one that had crawled into the back of his throat and made it difficult to drink his coffee. Over the edge of his mug, he saw that Cas' normally brilliant blue eyes were shaded and worried too, and Dean raised his eyebrow in a question. Cas moved his head left and then right just once, not wanting to scare their daughter with anything negative about the day.

When Leda finished her breakfast, she dashed off to her bedroom to get her bag ready for school, although they weren't quite sure what else she needed to do, since she had had her bag ready to go since the middle of last week.

"What is it?" Dean asked, when Leda had gone.

Cas looked at his mug of coffee, carefully examining the chip on its lip before shaking his head. "I don't know. I just feel..."

"Uneasy," Dean finished.

"Yes."

"Do you think...?" Dean asked. Cas looked at him sharply, his eyes narrowed. He didn't get a chance to respond because Sam entered the kitchen just at that moment.

"Wow, you two look like someone stole your favorite toy. What's going on, guys?"

"We're both feeling kinda...off, Sammy," Dean said. "Don't know why."

Sam grabbed a chair and turned it around, sitting astride it with his arms resting on the back of the chair. "Dude. She's going to school. Her first day of school."

"Yes. And there might be..." Cas paused. "There could be trouble." 

Sam sighed. "Listen, you guys are both feeling nervous about something, right?" The two fathers nodded. "Well, it's not because of any demon activity, it's because Leda's old enough to go to school for a whole day for the first time, and that's just making you sad."

Both Dean and Cas looked like they wanted to contradict Sam, but after a minute they began nodding. Of course that was it. She was their little girl, and this was the first step towards her independence.

"That doesn't make me feel any better," Cas growled. 

"It wasn't supposed to," Sam said. "Just letting you know that you two are being normal dads, that's all."

When Dean and Cas dropped Leda off at school a little bit later, they both sat silently in the car and watched her go into the red brick building. Dean was sure that he had something in his eye and Cas seemed to have a frog in his throat. They watched the school in silence for a few more minutes, holding hands. Then Dean coughed, put his hand back on the steering wheel and drove away.


	6. Our Past is Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leda asks about Dean's scar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the title of the chapter from a quote by Cormac McCarthy: “Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” (All the Pretty Horses)

"What's that, Daddy?" Leda came up behind Dean as he was working on getting the dead tree trunk out of the backyard. They had managed to rent this house for a song, but that meant that there was a heck of a lot of work to be done, both in the house itself and in the yard. But Cas and Dean had agreed that Leda needed a home, and so here they were. How domestic they all were. Dean turned and looked at his daughter, who was a deceptively serious looking 7 year old. She was pointing at his left shoulder. He had taken off his shirt as the morning wore on, the sun beating down on his back making him very warm. At first he had no idea what she was talking about, but then he looked down at himself.

Oh.

He hardly thought about the scar anymore, the scar that Cas had burned into him all those years ago. It was simply there, like his nose or his belly button. He didn't think about any of these things because they were just part of him. But he realized that Leda had never seen it before, and now he was going to have to explain it to her.

But how? He and Cas had not really talked about what they were going to tell their daughter about their family histories. They figured they had enough time to sort that out. He shook his head ruefully at this. This was the problem with that line of thinking: you always had enough time, until you didn't, like today.

Dean pushed the shovel he was using as far into the ground as he could go and sat down on the ground, pulling Leda into his lap with a soft groan. She was getting big, and he was already beginning to feel sore from the work on the tree stump.

Leda giggled. "Ew, Daddy, you're sweaty and stinky!" She squirmed out of his lap and sat across from him, her legs crossed, unconsciously mimicking his posture.

He smiled at her. "Sorry, punkin."

"So what is it, Daddy? Did you get hurt?" Leda got on her knees and crawled over next to Dean to examine the scare more carefully. She reached out a hesitant finger, waiting for Dean to nod his approval before she traced the mark that Cas had left. She tilted her head to the right, an action so reminiscent of Cas that Dean was left breathless for a moment.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, baby, I did get hurt, but it was a long time ago. It doesn't hurt now. I don't even remember that I have it half the time." She continued to trace the mark with her little finger. Dean wasn't sure whether the goose bumps rising on his arms were because she was tickling him, or because he was remembering the first time he met Cas and everything that followed. In many ways, that had not been a great year.

"How did it happen?" she turned her head so her bright blue eyes were staring up at Dean. She just looked at him, practically unblinking, a quizzical look on her face.

Dean was at a loss for words. He had no idea how to answer Leda's question, and he wasn't even sure he wanted to. He wished that Cas were there to help him, but Cas had been away, dealing with things in Heaven for about a week, and wasn't due back for another day or two.

"It's a long story, honey. The short version of it is that I got into a lot of trouble and your Poppa got me out of it. In fact, that's how we met," Dean said finally, feeling like this was a satisfactory way to answer the question without really answering it.

Leda nodded sagely, and then returned her attention to the scar. Again, with the tilted head, she regarded it, moving her head to look at it from several angles. Finally, she looked at her hands, her little tongue poking out of her lips. She was working something out. Then she took her right hand and placed it over the mark made by Castiel's right hand. Dean felt a whoosh of cool air go through him at that, but Leda seemed not to notice. She held her hand on Dean's shoulder for another minute or so, and then gave it a light squeeze before standing up, nodding as if satisfied about something, and skipping away.

Dean watched her go. What the fuck was that, he wondered.

 

Later that evening, after Leda was washed, tucked into bed and had had a story read to her, Dean lounged in the bedroom, an open book lying next to him, forgotten. He worried his lower lip with his teeth as he thought. He was so lost in thought that he didn't realize that Cas was back until he felt the bed dip as Cas sat on the other side.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said. He sounded exhausted.

"Hi, Cas. When did you get back?"

"Fifteen minutes ago. I have been watching Leda sleep," Cas responded. Dean nodded. They both loved watching her sleep. The rhythmic rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, the slight twitches that her fingers made, the brush of her dark eyelashes across freckled cheeks...the miracle of their daughter never ceased to amaze both man and angel. Cas tilted his head to the right. "You look troubled about something."

Dean nodded in a distracted way. "Leda asked about your handprint today." Cas looked puzzled for a moment, and then his features cleared.

"What did you tell her?"

"That it happened when you and I first met and that you had helped me out of trouble."

Cas laughed at that, the sound devoid of humor. "That's one way to put it."

"Cas, man, we have to work out how we're going to talk to her about this stuff. She's going to keep asking questions, and I can't keep making stuff like this up." Dean rubbed his hand over his face. Cas crawled over to Dean's side of the bed and wove his fingers through Dean's.

"First of all, I don't think that what you said qualifies as 'making stuff up'," Cas said. Dean let out a puff of laughter. "Second, I don't know that it's a good idea. I thought we were going to protect her from all that."

Dean leaned toward Cas until their foreheads were touching. "I can't lie to her, Cas. I can't lie to anyone in our family; you know that. We've had too much trouble with that." Cas watched Dean's eyes as the memories of Sam's lies, Dean's own lies and Castiel's lies flickered through Dean's mind.

A small part of Cas crumpled at this, and he merely nodded, uncertain of his own voice. He licked his lips. "Ok," he whispered. "Ok."

"Soon, Cas," Dean said.

Cas nodded again and pressed his lips to Dean's. "Yes. Soon."


	7. Impala Rules - not meant to be broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though she knows she's not allowed, Leda plays in the Impala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, although I have worried over it for several days. I could use a second beta, so if anyone is interested, please let me know.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

She knew she should not be messing around in the garage. And she knew even more that she should not be messing around with the Impala.

NO ONE messed with Daddy's car. Not even Poppa, who would look at Daddy fondly when he was waxing poetic about "his baby".

But for some reason, Leda could not help herself. The car was beautiful, and while she didn't think of herself as a car person, she appreciated the beauty of this machine. She also loved sitting in the back seat, watching the back of Daddy and Poppa's heads as they drove somewhere, usually just to the movies, or to the local diner. Poppa would lean his head toward Daddy, and they would smile at each other, or sometimes just look at each other at stoplights. Every now and then, Daddy would catch her eye in the rearview mirror and wink.

Being in the backseat of the Impala was like home, especially with Daddy and Poppa there. Sometimes even uncle Sam would come with them too, and so Poppa would sit in the backseat with her. They would cuddle together and watch Daddy and uncle Sam bicker with each other.

But the rules were the rules. Leda was not allowed in the car without either Daddy or Poppa. She wasn't even allowed near the car even with uncle Sam around. She was never allowed to use the trunk (Daddy was always the one who put her stuff in the trunk if there was a need). This was something that both Daddy and Poppa were incredibly fierce about. Normally when she wasn't allowed to do something, like have an extra cookie, one of them (usually Poppa. He would put his finger over his lips and hand the cookie to her like it was their big secret) would sneak it to her later on. Daddy would even let her mess around with the stereo when he wasn't home, even though that was another house rule: do not mess with Daddy's music. 

The Impala rules were inviolable. And Leda knew that.

But that didn't stop her from sometimes sitting in the backseat of the car when she was feeling sad or lonely, or if she just plain felt like it.

Today was one of those days - she just plain felt like sitting in the backseat of the Impala. So that's what she was doing. She'd brought in a couple of her Barbie dolls, and she was just hanging out, playing with her Barbies, when one dropped under the seat. She rolled her eyes at her own clumsiness, and leaned over to grab the doll. But her little hand closed around something that was cylindrical and hard, cold metal instead of her Barbie. She brought up and examined it closely. She knew what it was, of course, because uncle Sammy had a whole bunch of them - it was a gun. But she didn't know why Daddy and Poppa had one in the Impala, and more importantly, what it was doing underneath the backseat of the car. That didn't make any sense.

She thought about putting the gun back and just leaving it there, not worrying about it, but she still had the problem of the Barbie doll, and she was kind of afraid that it had rolled too far under the seat for her to get at it. Which would mean that either she would have to leave it there, or she would have to ask Daddy or Poppa to help her get it back.

And she had a feeling that if she just left it there, Daddy would know about it immediately, because he was like that about the Impala. He seemed to know everything about the car, from when it needed an oil change to when it needed new tires to when someone had maybe, just possibly, gotten sticky peanut butter and jelly hands on the door and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel. Not that Leda had ever done that, of course.

Leda sighed and clambered out of the car. She stuck the gun under her arm, and carried the other two Barbie dolls in her other hand. Daddy and Poppa were in the living room, talking about something, although it really looked more like they were just laughing and kissing each other, which was totally great, because maybe that meant that Daddy wouldn't be too mad.

"Daddy? Poppa?" Leda asked. 

Both of them turned to look at her as she entered the living room. The color drained from their faces simultaneously as they saw her with Barbies and gun in hand. Before she could open her mouth, both of them were up and off the sofa, surrounding her like mother hens, Daddy gingerly pulling the gun from underneath her arm.

They both started speaking, actually, yelling at once.

"Where the hell did you get this???" Dean asked.

"Are you all right? Did it go off?" Cas asked. 

Their reactions frightened Leda, and she began to sniffle, hating that she was beginning to cry, because she was almost nine years old and only babies cried. But Daddy and Poppa looked scared too, and she had never seen them look like that before. They were never scared, not of anything. Not of thunder and not of the dark. So if the gun scared them, then it was really something she should be afraid of too. So she burst into tears.

"Oh, honey," said Dean, as he sank to his knees and pulled her into his arms. Cas placed his hand on her head for a long moment, and then took the gun from Dean. He left the room for a moment, locking up the gun elsewhere in the house and returning as quickly as he could. He, too, knelt beside Leda and hugged her and Dean, so they were all wrapped up in each other's arms. Leda's storm of tears was brief, and soon she was sniffling and hiccupping.

Dean and Cas smoothed her hair and kissed her on her forehead and the top of her head until she was calm. Poppa even gave her eyelash kisses on her cheeks, which made her give a watery giggle. Dean was whispering soft, soothing words in her ear. After a few minutes, she was finally able to stop sniffling and hiccupping, and they both gave her one last kiss each. Then their expressions turned serious.

"Leda, angel, where did you get the gun?" Cas asked, his voice gentle. 

Leda stared at the floor, not wanting to be yelled at for being in the Impala when she knew she wasn't allowed. "Promise you won't get mad?"

Dean and Cas exchanged looks. They had learned that the question "promise you won't get mad" was usually followed by something that they really should be mad at. But the quiet, sad tone in her voice almost always meant that they would of course promise that they wouldn't be mad. So they both just nodded solemnly and promised that they would not get mad.

"It was under the backseat of the Impala," Leda whispered.

An amazing array of emotions crossed Dean's face: anger, fear, irritation, and even a little sadness. His jaw worked a bit as he tried to say something that would not sound as if he was angry with Leda, because he had promised after all. However, he was royally pissed off. Because she knew - KNEW - that the Impala was off limits, and this was just one of the many reasons why. He opened his mouth to say something, and then, thinking better of it, closed it with an audible click of his teeth.

Cas looked at Dean with one of his soul-searching, heart wrenching stares and caressed Dean's cheek softly for a moment. He then turned his attention back to their daughter. "Leda, you know that you aren't allowed in Daddy's car."

"I know Poppa." Leda suddenly found that she was fascinated by her shoes, and could not meet either Dean's or Castiel's eyes. "But I like being in the backseat. I was playing with my Barbies. I-I dropped one under the seat. I couldn't reach it, but I found the gun instead." She hesitated. "Why do you have a gun, Daddy?" 

And there it was. The moment that they both knew would come one day, the moment where they had to find a way to explain to their daughter who they really were and what they used to do for a living (although Dean still sometimes went out on hunts with Sam, most of the time he stayed home and worked at the garage down the street). Not to mention the whole "Poppa's an angel" discussion. 

Dean decided that they would be better off having this conversation seated, rather than huddled on the floor as they were, so he stood up, his knees cracking just a bit (he ignored that particular sign of aging) and said, "Let's go have some milk and cookies. Your Poppa and I need to tell you a few things, ok?" He held out his hand for Leda to hold. She grabbed on to both of their hands and they walked into the kitchen, where Dean got out a plate of chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies and three glasses of milk.

"Leda, you know how your uncle Sammy sometimes goes away for a few weeks at a time? And how sometimes he needs me to go and help him out?" Dean said. He had waited until they had each finished one cookie before beginning. Leda nodded and took a giant gulp of her milk. She had given herself a milk-mustache.

"Well, we used to do that with Sammy," Dean continued.

"You helped uncle Sam?" Leda asked.

Dean snorted. "No, he helped me. And then your Poppa came and helped us too."

"Like the time you got your scar?" Leda pointed at Dean's left shoulder.

Cas nodded. "A little bit like that. Your uncle and Daddy helped an awful lot of people from some very, very bad..." Cas coughed. "Um, people."

"You're a terrible liar," Dean mouthed at Cas over Leda's head. Cas just shot him a look that said "Shut up."

Leda brightened at this. "You helped people?" she gave Dean a look of such hero-worship that any anger that he had felt over her ignoring the no-Impala rule vanished.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, sometimes. Cas helped too, after a while. But then we had you, and we decided that it would be better if we didn't...well, Sammy and I called it hunting. So, Poppa and I wanted to be here with you, so he and I both agreed we would stop hunting."

Leda took another cookie and munched on it thoughtfully. "But why do you have a gun?"

Dean sighed and scrubbed his face. "Because sometimes the bad...people...had to be hurt or even killed to get them to stop hurting other people. And because sometimes I needed it to protect uncle Sammy or your Poppa." Cas snorted at this, but didn't say anything to contradict Dean.

"But you must listen, Leda," Cas said. "We tried our very best to make sure that we didn't hurt anybody who was innocent, and we didn't play with the guns or anything else that was dangerous or could hurt us. And you must never, ever pick up a gun or anything like that again. If you see something like that anywhere, you come and tell us about it. But whatever you do, do NOT touch."

Leda's eyes widened at Cas's tone. "Ok," she said in a very small voice.

Dean closed one eye and looked at her sternly. "Ok? Say that you promise you won't ever touch a gun or any other weapon again."

Leda nodded. "I promise that I won't ever touch a gun or any other weapon again."

Dean continued to give Leda the stink eye for another 30 seconds or so, and then his face softened. "Ok, good. Now why don't you take your Barbies upstairs, and I'll go see about getting the other one out of the Impala. And if I catch you in the car again without me or Poppa, you will get in trouble, I promise."

"Ok, Daddy. I promise. I just like being in the car. It's a nice place to be." Leda said, eager to explain why she had been where she wasn't supposed to be. 

Dean hesitated by the doorway to the kitchen and looked back at Cas and his daughter, sitting together at the table. He smiled then, and all the hardness from his years of hunting and Hell and dick-angels and demons was wiped away by his tiny, beloved family.


	8. An Ex-Hunter and an Angel have a Teen-Aged Daughter. It can't possibly go well.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Middle school comes with a whole host of new problems that Dean and Cas are not prepared to deal with.

If taking Leda off to kindergarten was hard, sending her to middle school was even worse. Leda had insisted that she could walk to the bus stop by herself, that she didn't need her dads walking her there. "God, Dad. Only babies have their parents walk them to the bus stop," Leda said to Dean, her eyes rolling back in her head. Dean's jaw dropped, uncertain how to respond. Castiel lowered his newspaper and peered at Leda over the top of it.

"Please don't blaspheme, Leda." He folded the paper on the table, wiping away any creases he had made. "And why do you think that only babies get walked to the bus stop?"

Leda mumbled an apology and sat down at the table with a giant huff. Her long dark hair swung into her face so she was partially hidden from her fathers. Dean resisted the temptation to push her hair back from her eyes - he had always loved looking into her eyes, which were blue, not quite the brilliant blue of her Poppa, but blue enough that it was clear that she was Castiel's daughter.

"No one else is going to have their parents walk them," Leda said after a minute. "I don't want anyone to think I'm a dork, or too scared to go to school by myself." She still refused to look at her fathers, seemingly fascinated by the tabletop.

Dean's felt his heart give a giant lurch. "Is it because you have two dads? Because you don't have a mom?" He hoped it wasn't, was desperate to believe that people were more accepting, it was one of the reasons they had chosen this small town to live in, after all. But people were human, as Castiel was often reminding him, and sometimes they did and said things that were inconceivably cruel.

Leda did look up at that, though, her eyes blazing. "No!" she said, nearly shouting. "No, it's not that at all. Nobody cares about that. And if they do, I'll just punch them in the nose." Dean chuckled at that, but it died in his throat when he saw the disapproving look Castiel threw in his direction. The look definitely said "we will talk about you teaching our daughter to hit people later," and Dean knew that conversation was going to be more lecture than dialogue.

"So what is it, punkin?" Dean asked.

Leda shrugged, her shoulders reaching up to her ears. She didn't respond for a very long time, making both Dean and Castiel wonder if she would ever tell them. Dean started to say something several times, but each time, Castiel placed a warning hand on Dean's arm, telling him to give her a chance to answer, that she would only speak if she wasn't pushed.

Finally, Leda looked up at Castiel, and then focused on a point just above and behind his left shoulder. Her face was crimson with embarrassment, and she wondered if they could feel the heat from her burning cheeks. "All the other girls are more..." here she gestured at her chest, holding her hands in front of it as if she were weighing something in each palm. "AlltheothergirlshavebiggerboobsthanIdo." It came out in a muttered rush, and Dean and Castiel each leaned forward a bit to be sure that they had heard her correctly.

Dean's eyebrows rose to his hairline as he realized what the trouble was. And suddenly they were screwed. Because now they had a teen-aged daughter who was having issues with her body and here they were, an angel, and a man who had objectified teen-aged girls when he was a teen-ager himself, and he had no idea how on earth to respond to this. He had no idea how to make his daughter feel better about herself. He looked at Cas and mouthed a plea for help - _what are we going to do?,_ but Cas looked as stunned and taken aback as Dean was.

Dean cleared his throat a couple of times and then told himself to man up. They had known this day was coming, they'd have been idiots not to (he heard Bobby saying "idjits" in his head), but that didn't make them any better prepared for it. However, she was their daughter, and she was amazing and beautiful and he didn't want her thinking anything other than that. Of course, the "how to tell your teenaged daughter about puberty and growing boobs when you and your partner are clueless about girls' feelings" handbook hadn't been written or published yet. So he decided to bite the bullet.

He grabbed one of her hands and clasped it between both of his. "Honey, listen. Everyone develops differently. You're just..."

"Don't you DARE say I'm a late bloomer, Dad, or I will hit you," Leda said fiercely.

Cas took hold of her other hand. "Leda." It was a warning. "You are you, and you are being the best you that can right now. You will change and develop boobs," Cas did not blush, but his voice got as squeaky as his deep voice could manage on this last word. "Just in your own time."

"Besides," Dean chimed in. "Imagine how the girls who got their boobs first feel. Just as awkward. They were the only ones who had ‘em. They were probably jealous of you cuz you didn’t."

Leda gave a half, tentative little smile at this and exhaled slowly, her breath stuttering just a fraction. "Ok. Maybe. But I still don't want you to walk me to the bus stop."

Hiding their disappointment at this, Dean and Cas put their hands up in surrender. "Ok, fine, we won't,” said Dean.

“Will we be allowed to hover by the living room window and watch you until the bus takes you away?" Cas asked.

Leda snorted, but she was full on smiling now. "I guess. But if anyone sees you..." she pointed at them, a mock threat in her tone.

Cas solemnly crossed his fingers over his heart and blew her a kiss. “No one will see us, angel." Leda bounced out of her chair and kissed her fathers on their cheeks and left the kitchen.

Cas and Dean both groaned, Dean putting his head down on the table. "I never, ever want to have to use the word boobs in this house again. Never." 

Cas placed his hand on the back of Dean's neck and squeezed affectionately. "Agreed."

 


	9. Remember to let her into your heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You’re being brave." Dean said.
> 
> “Angel of the Lord, Dean,” Cas replied.
> 
> Dean pointed to the ceiling. “Upset twelve-year-old girl, Cas.”

Dean and Castiel were sitting in the living room when they heard the front door slamming, followed by the pounding of footsteps up the stairs and then yet another door slamming. They looked at each other, nearly identical expressions of confusion on their faces: what the heck?

"Do you want to go, or should I?" Dean asked.

Castiel stood. "I'll go. If we need you, I'll let you know."

"You’re being brave." Dean said.

“Angel of the Lord, Dean,” Cas replied.

Dean pointed to the ceiling. “Upset twelve-year-old girl, Cas.” This made Cas pause, but after a second, he headed upstairs to talk to his daughter.

Cas knocked softly on the door. "Leda?"

"Go away!" her voice was muffled through the door.

"No, I will not. Not until you tell me what happened today." He waited a few beats, and then tapped on the door again. "Leda..."

Leda opened the door. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were streaked with tears. There was a smudge of black mascara under one eye where she had rubbed it. "I don't want to talk about it, Poppa," she mumbled, eyes downcast.

Cas nodded. "Okay. Can I come and sit with you for a few minutes? You don't have to talk to me about anything if you don't want to."

Leda held the door open for him, mumbling "You're gonna come in anyway." She threw herself onto her bed face down and buried her face in her pillow. Cas sat on the bed next to her and began to smooth her hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner. It seemed to be, because after a minute or two, some of the tension in her shoulders seemed to lessen. She turned her head to the side so she could look at Cas.

"Why are people so mean?" she asked, her voice still thick with tears.

Cas gave her a small half smile. "That is a question that I have been trying to answer for myself for a very long time, Leda." He paused. "I think perhaps because some people hope that by being mean to others first, then they have protected themselves from being treated badly. Did someone say something to you?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it, Poppa. Were people mean to you? When you were younger?"

Cas hesitated. "Well, you know that I didn't go to school in the same way that you did. But yes, people were mean to me. My brother Gabriel always used to tease me." He smiled. "He used to tease everyone. But he liked to tease me a lot."

"What did you do to get him to stop?" Leda asked. She sat up and leaned against Cas, since she was getting a crick in her neck from looking up at him.

Cas inhaled slowly. "Well, you know that he ... died a while ago?" Leda nodded. "The thing is, angel, he never did stop teasing me. It just stopped bothering me as much, and it became the thing that we shared together. He teased me and I...tolerated it." Cas looked at Leda, his eyes dark, solemn and very serious.

Leda thought about this for a few minutes, her teeth worrying her lower lip as she did so. She was not entering her teen-aged years gracefully, her gangly arms and legs an indication that she would be quite tall, maybe as tall as Castiel, but she had barely started growing, and so she was clumsy a lot of the time. He imagined that there were some students in her school that teased her because of this, and he felt a wave of hot anger roil through him. He breathed deeply, trying to center himself and maintain his calm. The last thing that he needed to do was to release the anger of an Angel of the Lord upon any teen-aged bully - as much as he wanted to protect his daughter, this would do her no favors.

"Kind of like Daddy and uncle Sam?" Leda asked.

"Kind of. The difference is that Gabriel was my brother; the way Sam is your Daddy's. So we were all stuck with each other. If there is someone at school who is teasing you, you can just ignore them and find other people to be friends with. Gabriel and Sam are a part of us. You can't really choose your family, but you can choose who you want to be friends with."

Leda frowned at this. "But you and Daddy chose each other, didn't you?"

"Not at first we didn't. Can I tell you a secret, Leda?" When she nodded, eyes wide, he leaned down and spoke softly into her ear. "Daddy did not like me very much when we first met. He may have even hated me."

Leda looked at Cas in astonishment. "I don't believe that! Daddy loves you very much. How could he ever hate you?"

"Cuz your Poppa was a dick when we first met, Punkin," Dean said from the doorway.

Cas gave Dean a scandalized look. "Dean!" Dean held his hands up in mock surrender as he entered the room and sat next to Leda, crowding her into Cas so that they all sat in a row on the edge of the bed, shoulders cuddled together.

"Sorry, Cas. But it's true, you were."

"Yes, I was. But that's no reason to use such language in front of our daughter," Cas said, a strong disapproving tone in his voice.

Leda rolled her eyes. "Oh Poppa, I hear worse things at school. But I want to talk more about you and Daddy and when you first met. Why were you mean to Daddy?"

Dean laughed at this, giving Cas a look over Leda's head that seemed to say, "That's my girl." Cas rolled his eyes at Dean, a human gesture that he had managed to pick up over the years. He hadn't picked up many, but this one he had perfected.

Cas cleared his throat. "I wasn't mean to Daddy so much as I was ... not exactly nice. And in my defense, Dean, you were not the easiest person to work with."

"What are you talking about, man? I was and am the epitome of charming." He flashed the patented Winchester grin.

Cas began to number items off on his fingers as he spoke. "You were rude, demanding, arrogant, and ...."

Dean reached up and placed his hand over Castiel's mouth. "Okay, okay, all right. Yes, I was all of those things. But cute, too. Don't forget cute."

Leda giggled, although her mirth did not quite reach her eyes. She slumped a bit between her fathers. "But if you two were mean to each other, how can I expect other kids to not be mean to me?"

Dean and Cas exchanged worried looks over Leda's head. Dean wrapped her in his arms, grabbing onto one of Cas' hands in the process, effectively trapping her between the two of them. "I don't think we have all the answers, Punkin. Except to say that we both love you so, so much, and so does your uncle Sammy. We're so proud of you."

Cas also put his free arm around Leda and kissed the top of her head. "You are so brave, my angel."

"And if it gets any worse, I can teach you a couple of moves..."

"Dean! Absolutely not," Cas said. He pulled his hand out of Dean's and pointed at him. "You will NOT teach our daughter how to hit other children."

Dean had the grace to look a little sheepish, but he also waggled his eyebrows at Leda and winked. In the guise of leaning down to kiss her on the cheek, he whispered, "Just let me know..." Cas frowned at Dean. Dean grinned and shrugged one shoulder as if to say, "I'm cute, you know it."

Leda sighed heavily. "I still don't know what to do when the other kids tease me, though."

"Just walk away, angel. It's going to be one of the hardest things you've ever done, but the best thing to do is walk away," Cas said.

From downstairs, they heard the front door open and close. It was Sam, and he was hollering a greeting.

"Upstairs, Sammy!" Dean said.

Sam joined them in Leda's room just a moment later, and eyed the trio seated on the bed, arms wrapped around each other. He raised an eyebrow. "Everything okay?"

Dean and Cas looked at Leda. "Punkin?" asked Dean.

She thought about it and then nodded slowly. "I think so. Thanks Daddy, Poppa." She kissed them both on the cheek and got up to give Sam a hug. He lifted her up and squeezed her tight, making her squeak.

"Best niece in the world!" he said.

"Only niece," she pointed out, but she was laughing.

"Any chance of dinner?" Sam asked Dean and Cas. Cas stood up and headed down to the kitchen, saying that he would see what he could find.

After a brief glance at Leda to see that she really was going to be ok, Dean followed Sam out of her room and headed back downstairs. She sat on the side of her bed again, thinking. Maybe 7th grade wouldn't be too bad. Especially if she really could get her Daddy to teach her how to punch someone in the nose. What Poppa didn't know... 


	10. A Simple Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leda asks for permission to go on a date.

Leda went on a first honest-to-goodness date when she was 13. She had gone out with boys before, but only with a large group of friends, and she never, NEVER used the word date around her fathers, especially not around Dad. Dad would go postal if he thought she was going on dates. Poppa might not be happy about it, but he never went postal, which was probably a good thing. That's what Dad was for.

But then Danny asked her out. He asked her to the movies and then maybe some food after. And she really wanted to go. Because Danny was really cute, with his slightly too long blond hair and his pale blue eyes. He was really smart and funny, in a dry, sarcastic sort of way. And since Leda was tall herself, the fact that he had started his growth spurt before most of the other boys in 8th grade didn't hurt.

So she said that she wanted to go out with him, but she'd have to ask her fathers. To his credit, Danny merely paled at this prospect. The fact that Leda's fathers were over-protective was legendary. Everyone knew about it, and everyone respected it. But Danny had known this when he decided to ask Leda out in the first place, so this bumped him up even further in her estimation. He'd asked anyway.

Leda had to be smart about this.

She decided the best thing was to be direct. She waited until after dinner one day. "Poppa?"

Castiel was reading something for work. "Hm?" he asked, placing his pen down on the table, looking up at his beautiful little girl.

She smiled at him, her brightest smile, took and deep breath and plunged. "Danny Holland asked me to the movies and I was wondering if it was ok for me to go."

Castiel's mouth dropped open. He had not been expecting this. Maybe in a couple of years, but not now. And certainly...he squinted his eyes at her. "Hm. And you're asking me now because Dad is away on a job?"

Leda had the grace to look sheepishly down at the table. "He'd never say yes. I could be thirty years old and he'd still say no."

Castiel knew that Leda was right. He actually agreed with Dean on this, for the most part. However, he also knew that they couldn't hold her back from this sort of thing, because she would eventually find a way to go. And he had a suspicion that some of her big group outings with her friends had been clever disguises for dates. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, a human gesture that he had picked up after years of living amongst humans full time. "When does this boy - Danny? - want to take you out?"

Leda sat up straighter and did her best to cover her squeal of happiness. This was progress, more than she had expected so soon. Dad might be the bombastic one, the one whose first response would always be no, but Poppa was the one who took a long time to make decisions, to come around to her way of thinking (which was, of course, always the correct way). "Friday?" It was Tuesday. She had hoped that this would be enough time to wear Poppa down. And yes, Dad wasn't going to be home until Sunday. She wasn't above being sneaky and underhanded. She learned from Dad and uncle Sam.

Castiel eyed his daughter and thought, not for the first time, that perhaps he was in over his head when it came to raising a human child. A daughter, no less. While he loved her with every fiber of his being and his Grace sang in her presence, he knew that there was nothing in his thousands of years of experience that had prepared him for the prospect of a teenager. Let alone dating. It's not as if he had ever dated anyone. There was only Dean. From what he understood, these things could go very wrong very quickly, and he had sworn to himself that he would do everything on Heaven and earth and yes, even in Hell to make sure that his daughter was protected from pain - any kind of pain.

However, if there is one thing that living among humans had taught him (and OK, yes, watching Dr. Sexy with Dean), it was that being human and growing up involved pain. This thought actually caused him some little bit of his own pain as his heart gave a sharp twist. Leda sat across the table looking at him expectantly with hope blooming in her eyes. Castiel groaned internally. He had lost this battle even before he had joined it, he now realized. Which was exactly why Leda had chosen to wait until Dean was out of town and Castiel was on his own.

Leaning forward, he said, "He will come and pick you up here, and I will get the chance to meet him." It was not a request, but an order. Cas rarely used his "I am an Angel of the Lord" voice anymore, but this time he felt it was warranted. Leda nodded solemnly. "You will be home by 10:30."

"The movie won't be over until 10. That won't be enough time to hang out afterward," Leda protested.

Cas tilted his head to the right and looked at her for a long, silent moment.

"All right, fine," Leda huffed. "10:30."

"He will not kiss you."

"Poppa!" Leda shrieked. "It's our first date. Of COURSE he won't kiss me." Although she secretly hoped he would. Castiel's mouth tightened, not entirely sure he believed this. Dean could be very persuasive when it came to these matters, and the longer Castiel stayed in his human form, the more easily he found it to be swayed by human desires. He did not think that any 13-year-old boy would have the necessary self-control.

"You will remember what Dean taught you about defending yourself?" Castiel's eyes were intent on his daughter's face.

Yeah, Leda remembered. It started with watching Miss Congeniality. Poppa was horrified, but Dad thought it was hilarious. And when he offered to teach Leda the moves, she was certain that Poppa would say no, that she shouldn't learn any of it, but Poppa was nodding yes and clearing the living room before she even knew was happening. And so now, whenever she went anywhere on her own, both Dad and Poppa reminded her to SING ([this link](http://youtu.be/97JIFQzw8NM)).

"Yes, Poppa." She rolled her eyes. "Danny is 13. I won't need to attack him."

Castiel thought that Leda was probably correct, but he also did not want her to see that, so he just grunted in response. He chewed on his lower lip for a few minutes, trying to determine whether there was some other condition he needed to add before he gave his permission. He did not want this to go wrong. Finally, he nodded. "Ok. I think that it will be all right."

At this, Leda did actually squeal with glee. She leapt up out of the chair and threw her arms around Castiel's neck. "Thank you, Poppa! Thank you!!! I'm going to call Danny right now." But before she could leave the kitchen, Castiel grabbed her wrist and held her back.

"No, you have to call Dad first."

Leda's jaw dropped open. She sat down heavily, fear clearly etched across her features. "Do I have to?" she whispered.

For half a second, Castiel felt a small amount of pity and charity. But then again, she had decided to wait until Dean was gone, a clear sign that she was not above manipulating her fathers. Castiel could give as good as he got. "I won't keep secrets from Dean, you know that, and you should not either." He still felt a twinge of shame when he remembered when he did keep secrets from Dean. He had promised he would never do so again, and he intended to impress this upon his daughter as well.

"Can't you tell him?"

Castiel huffed a short laugh. "I am not the one going on a date on Friday night," he pointed out. "If you wish to go, you must tell Dean." He folded his arms across his chest, the matter settled. "Is this boy worth it?" Castiel asked softly, when he saw how frightened Leda looked. Dean could indeed be fierce, but Leda could be more fierce, and seeing how scared she was made Castiel feel just the tiniest bit guilty. Just the tiniest. Enough to remind her that this was something she wanted.

Leda nodded. "Yes, I think so, Poppa." She nodded again, this time with determination. "OK, I'll call Dad. But I'm telling him that you already said it was okay for me to go," she warned. "He'll be mad at both of us."

"Agreed," Castiel said, a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

Leda got out her cell phone and dialed. Danny had _better_ be worth it, she thought.

"Hiya, Punkin," Dean said when he answered.

"Hi Dad," Leda said. "I wanted to tell you something."


	11. Why Dean and Castiel's bedroom is on the first floor, or, how Dean and Cas came to realize that being the fathers of a teenaged daughter in a house with one bathroom really sucks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title said.

"Occupied!" Leda's voice was muffled through the bathroom door.

Dean groaned. What, again? "Punkin, come on, honey, I really need to use the bathroom."

"I'll be out in a minute, Dad," Leda responded.

Dean resisted the temptation to knock his head against the door. He was rewarded about two and half minutes later when she breezed out of the bathroom, a smile plastered on her face. "All yours, Dad." Dean just grunted and slammed the door shut behind him.

\---

"Occupied!" Leda sang through the door.

Castiel sighed. "Leda, I need to get something out of the bathroom."

"I'll be out in a minute, Pop. Hang on."

"I'll just wait here, then," Cas said.

Two minutes passed, and Leda had not exited the bathroom. Cas knocked on the door again.

"I _said_ , occupied!"

"I know that, angel, but you said you would be out in a minute. It has been two minutes," Cas said.

"Yes Pop. I just need...one...more...there!" She opened the door with a flourish. Kissing Cas on the cheek, she sauntered back into her bedroom down the hall. Castiel shrugged and opened the bathroom cabinet, searching for what he needed.

\----

"Occupied!"

"Oh come on! Leda! I'm serious, this has to stop. You spend HOURS in there. Can you please just get out of there so I can use the damn bathroom???" Dean was practically whining through the door.

From downstairs he heard Castiel's voice. "Dean..."

"I'm sorry Cas, but this is ridiculous. There are three people in this house, and only one bathroom. We have to SHARE," Dean hollered down the stairs. Then he pounded on the door again. "Leda, get out of there right now!"

Leda opened the bathroom door, her hair half up in curlers and a brush in one hand. "But I'm not finished, Dad."

Dean grabbed her arm and pulled her gently out of the bathroom. "You can go back in there in just two minutes. 90 seconds. Please." He closed the door in her face before she could protest. There was a loud clattering noise as several items that had been precariously balanced on the sink counter fell to the floor. "Son of a BITCH!" Dean said.

"Careful Dad, the hot roller thing is still on," Leda warned.

"I know that NOW." Dean said in a grumpy tone from behind the door.

Precisely 100 seconds later, Dean came out of the bathroom, wiping his hands dry on his jeans. "See? Not so hard getting out of the bathroom quickly, now is it?"

Leda rolled her eyes. "Please, Dad. You time your two-minute showers down to the second. I need more time than that." 

Dean lifted a hand to cup her cheek. "No punkin, you really don't. You're beautiful the way you are. You don't need to spend all this time fixing your hair and make up. Really," he said in a serious tone.

Leda blushed a bit, and rolled her face out of Dean's hand, embarrassed. "Yes I do, Daddy. Besides, you have to think I'm pretty."

Dean's felt his heart squeeze a bit. First, he secretly loved it when she called him ‘Daddy’, not that he would admit that out loud to anyone (Cas knew anyway). Second, who was the idiot who had told her that she wasn't pretty? Because it certainly wasn't him and he knew it wasn't Cas either. He put his hands on both her shoulders and turned her so they were looking each other in the eyes. "Listen punkin. You are beautiful. You know how I know? Because I see your face every day." He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "Plus, you look just like Pop, and he's beautiful, too."

When Dean pulled away, Leda had a small, shy smile on her face. "Thanks, Daddy. Can I go back in now?"

Dean feinted toward her with his hand raised over her head as if he meant to ruffle her hair, ruining all her hard work. She squealed and stepped back into the bathroom. Dean headed downstairs and flopped down on the couch next to Cas, who looked at Dean with a bemused expression on his face.

"Cas, I don't know how much longer I can live in a house with one bathroom and a 14 year old girl."

Cas slung his arm over Dean's shoulders and pulled him closer. "I don't think we're going to break her of the habit too easily."

Dean snuggled into Cas, laying his head on Castiel's shoulder. "No, no, I've been thinking about this. What if we built an addition on to the downstairs? Right off there," here Dean waved his arm at the right hand side of the living room, which looked into the backyard. "We could make a master suite down here for you and me, including our very own bathroom. You could use our bedroom upstairs as a study, and then Leda could have her own bathroom."

Cas looked at the living room wall thoughtfully, trying to imagine what it would look like. After a moment, he started nodding slowly. "That would be nice, actually." He leaned over and brushed a ghost of a kiss over Dean's ear, causing the other man to shiver. "We'd have more privacy down here, too, without having Leda's room right next to ours." Dean turned his head and kissed Cas slowly, and then sprang from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Cas asked, a small pout on his face.

"Home Depot! I want to start right away." He grinned and grabbed his coat. "I'll be back."

"Don't take too long," Cas said to Dean's retreating back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuity, I know. In chapter 5 they were only renting. So, we're going on the assumption that they've managed to purchase the little house, and so building an addition? Totally OK. Yeah.


	12. You're My Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leda learns who Cas really is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not at all beta'd, and there are bits I don't love, but I wanted to post something to get the angst-coaster on the road, although there really isn't much angst in this one. It's coming though.

"So, high school is going to suck," Leda said as she dumped her bag on the floor by the coffee table.

Dean looked up from his spot on the couch. "Because..."

"My math teacher is super smart and super scary, and I didn't understand half the stuff she said in class. Science isn't much better. History will probably be ok, but the teacher is...well, she just seems weird. I mean, weird in a good way, but weird. And I don't have any classes with Sabrina," Leda said. "Oh god, and I've got Spanish and English tomorrow. Do I have to take Spanish?"

Dean blinked at this litany of complaints. "Well, yes, because I think they require to you to in order to graduate. And you're graduating."

"But you only have a GED," Leda said.

Dean sighed. "Yep. Which is why you're graduating." He held up a hand to forestall any further protests from her. "Besides, someone needs to compete with uncle Sam." Leda's mouth turned up a bit at that, but the scowl returned to her face pretty quickly. She threw herself onto the couch next to Dean and put her head on his shoulder, grumbling a bit under her breath.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, enjoying just being together, father and daughter.

"It's probably a good thing that you don't have any classes with Sabrina, you know," Dean said after a while. Leda just rolled her eyes. "Do you have any homework tonight?"

"Of course, Dad, which is yet another reason why high school is going to suck." She pulled her bag off the floor and began to rummage through it. She pulled out three packets of paper and shoved them into Dean's hands. "You have to read and sign these."

"What are they?" Dean asked, eyeing them warily.

"Syllabuses. Syllabi? For my classes. They're like the class rules and stuff."

Dean began flipping through the top one. "Jesus. This one is five pages long."

Leda nodded. "That one's for history. I told you, weird. And long-winded. She just talked and talked and talked, oh my god. And she was funny and all, but she just kept..." She waved her hand.

"Talking?" Dean finished for her. Leda smiled at that, and nodded. Dean skimmed the rest of the syllabus and got to the last page. "What happens if I just sign these and don't actually read anything?"

Leda shrugged. "I dunno. Nothing, probably. It's like those tags on the mattresses. No big deal if you pull them off."

"Hand me a pen then, and let's get this over with." Dean held out his hand. Leda did some more rummaging in her bag and pulled out a pink pen. Dean looked at the pen, at Leda, back at the pen and once more at Leda. "Really?" Leda rolled her eyes again and went back into her bag. This time the pen she pulled out was blue.

"Manly enough for you, Dad? Sorry it's not Impala black."

"Don't dis the Impala, punkin, you know that." He signed each of the packets with a flourish and handed them back. She stuffed them into her bag and gave it a halfhearted kick. "Hey, that bag was kind of expensive, Leda, and we're not buying you another one, so you might want to, you know, not beat the living crap out of it on the first day of school." Dean scolded.

"Right, right, ok, fine. I guess I'll go upstairs and get started on my other homework or something." She picked up the bag and dragged it behind her as she went out of the living room and headed up the stairs to her room. 

"Dinner at 6, punkin. Pop's cooking," Dean said to her retreating back. She gave a short wave over her shoulder.

\------

By the time dinner rolled around, Leda decided that she was done with high school. Just. Done. Really, Dad did OK, and she didn't know much about Pop's education, but he was the smartest person she knew, besides uncle Sam, and he never finished college, so obviously this was really like a family tradition, not finishing school.

And wait, why was it that she didn't know much about Pop's education, anyway? She thought back, and tried to remember them talking about Pop as a kid, and nothing - and she really means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - came to mind, except that Pop had a brother named Gabriel and Gabriel had teased Pop.

Really? That was it? That was all she knew about Pop's childhood? That didn't seem right. What was up with that? She thought she knew just about everything about Dad's childhood, because whatever stories Dad didn't tell her, Sam did, mostly the embarrassing ones, and ever since they had told her about being hunters, the stories got better and better. Dad was definitely a hero, and so was Sam. Other than where Pop's stories overlapped with Dad's and Sam's, though, she didn't know anything about Pop. How did that happen?

She wondered if it was because there was some secret in Pop's childhood that they didn't want her to know about. Or maybe it was just something that made him really sad, and so he didn't want to talk about it. Ooh, maybe Pop's family were mass murderers or something, and he wanted to protect her.

Oh, right. Because Pop could totally be related to people who killed other people. As far as she knew, Pop couldn't even hurt a fly. When there were bugs in the house and Pop found them first, he took them into his hands and carried them gently outside. He brought home stray animals that had been injured and nursed them back to health. Pop was the epitome of sweet-natured kindness. There was no way that he or his family could have been involved in something sordid or anything like that.

"Leda! Dinner!"

Leda eagerly slammed her history book closed, pleased to have a legitimate excuse to take a break in her studying. She thundered down the stairs. "Hiya Pop. Smells awesome." She gave Castiel a kiss on the cheek and washed her hands.

The three of them sat at the table, quietly eating their dinner. When everyone had finished their first serving, and Dean was helping himself to a second (under Castiel's somewhat disapproving gaze), Leda cleared her throat.

"Pop?"

"Yes?" Cas said, smiling fondly at her.

"I was kind of wondering. What were you like when you were a kid?" Leda asked. She was not expecting the reaction she got to this seemingly innocent question.

Castiel's face drained of color, and Dean dropped the serving fork he'd been holding on the table. It fell with a clatter, spraying crumbs all over. Leda looked back and forth between her fathers.

"What? What did I say?" She couldn't even begin to figure out what was going on.

Dean and Cas exchanged a long, meaningful look. An entire conversation passed between the two of them in the space of about a minute. Finally, Dean raised one shoulder and Cas nodded in response.

Leda suppressed an annoyed sigh. She hated it when they did their silent communication thing. It was almost kind of creepy the way that they didn't really need to talk. "Dad? Pop? What's going on?"

Castiel did heave a sigh. "It's a long story, angel." His face twisted in an odd grimace as he heard himself use his pet name for her. Dean stood up and began to clear the table, and Cas scooted his chair so he was sitting right next to Leda instead of across the table from her. He stroked her hair and then held onto her hand. "You know, Dean and I spent a lot of time when you were younger talking about how we would tell you about this. Your dad wanted me to tell you much sooner than this, insisting that you would either figure something out, or you'd end up asking questions that I wasn't prepared to answer. I probably should have listened." Dean snorted from somewhere in the kitchen, and said something that sounded a bit like "probably nothing, you definitely should have listened."

"Poppa, you're scaring me. What the heck...what is it?" Leda asked.

Cas looked at her thoughtfully for a minute or two, taking in her blue eyes that were nearly a mirror of his own, and the freckles that were sprinkled across her small, button nose and cheeks. "I wasn't a kid," he said after a very long while, during which Leda's heartbeat increased rapidly and a twisting sensation landed in her stomach. Dean had since rejoined them, sitting on the opposite side of Leda. He just watched.

"Um. What?" Leda said. That made no sense whatsoever. Everyone was a kid, and then they grew up.

"I am..." Castiel shook his head. "I am an angel of the Lord," he said.

Laughter burbled out of Leda's mouth before she could stop it. "You're...you're kidding, right? This is a joke? It's not a very funny one." She turned to Dean. "Daddy?"

Dean winced. Leda hadn't called him Daddy in about a year or so, insisting that she was too old for such childishness. "Just listen to Cas, punkin. He's not playing a joke on you." He spoke softly and took her hand in his. "Just listen."

Cas took a fortifying breath. "This body, it's not really mine. I mean, it is now, but I am an angel. Castiel, the Angel of Thursday. And this is the form I take when I'm on Earth. My true form, well, I can't show my true form here, because it would hurt Daddy. And it might hurt you."

Leda started shaking her head over and over again. "No. No. What? No." She pulled away from Castiel, taking back her hand, causing him to inhale sharply. He made a soft, disappointed noise. Leda looked at Dean. "Daddy? I don't understand. What is he talking about?"

Dean gathered her into his arms and held on to her tightly, as if afraid that she would run away. "He's telling the truth, punkin. He is an angel. He's not human. But he loves you; he loves us with all of his heart and then some. And he never, ever, ever would want to hurt you." Dean looked over at Cas, whose shoulders were slumped in defeat, his face the picture of abject misery. "Can you show her your wings? The way you showed me?"

Cas nodded, and stood. "Don't be scared, angel. Daddy's got you, and I would never hurt you." The lights flickered a bit as Cas drew up to his full height and the shadows of his wings grew out from behind him. He could not extend them fully in the smallish dining room; in fact, he wouldn't have been able to in the entire house. He concentrated and allowed the shadow to manifest so that Leda and Dean could see them. Leda stared up at the shadows, her eyes as wide as saucers. She looked between her two fathers, and back at the wings again, staring at them in awe.

"Can I...Can I touch them?" Leda asked after several painfully silent moments. Dean opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then shut it again when he saw Cas give a minute shake of his head.

"Yes, but you must be careful," Cas said to Leda. She stood up and reached out a hand. She brushed up against something silky soft. Startled, she pulled her hand back with a soft "oh!” and then she tentatively reached out again, stroking the wing as she did so.

"They're...they're real," she whispered. She tilted her head as if trying to truly see them, and not the reflection of them. Then she looked at Cas shrewdly. "Wait. If you're an angel, then...then what am I?"

"Biologically you are my daughter. Half of who you are comes from me, and the other half from your surrogate mother," Cas answered.

"So...I am half an angel?" Leda squeaked. Dean grabbed her hand again and squeezed.

"Yes, you are." Cas cupped her cheek in one hand. "You are half an angel, and you are 100% our daughter." He gestured to Dean and himself as he spoke.

"Ok, so. Uh. Wow. Poppa's an angel. I'm half an angel. Uh, Daddy? Anything you want to tell me?" Leda asked.

Dean just smiled, and shook his head. "One hundred percent human, punkin. I have had more than my fair share of...weirdness...in my day, but I'm still human."

Leda worried her lower lip between her teeth, a habit that she'd picked up from Dean. Sometimes nurture was more powerful than nature, Dean reflected. Leda may look like Cas, and she may have several of his mannerisms (the tilted head is his favorite one), but so many of her behaviors are pure Dean, it was almost startling.

"Wait. Poppa, if you're an angel, does that mean that your brother Gabriel..." she narrowed her eyes. "Gabriel, the archangel, Gabriel?" Both Cas and Dean nod an affirmation at her. Leda threw her hands up in the air. "What, seriously? My uncle was an archangel? Whu-...uh...um...Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why tell me now?"

"Dad wanted to tell you. I thought it would wait until you were older. And you asked," Cas pointed out. Leda crossed her arms.

"Yeah, ok. So what now? Do I get wings? Wait, do I already have wings? Do I get super powers? Do you have super powers?" Leda babbled out a barrage of questions at Cas.

Cas held up his hands at the onslaught. "You haven't manifested wings or any powers yet, angel. I have some powers, but the more time I spend here on Earth, the more they fade." Dean shot a sharp look at Cas when he heard this. "You are unprecedented, unique in my father's creation. We don't know how much of you is angel, and how much of you is human."

"Woah, woah, woah, woah. Back up a second there. Your father? Your FATHER? My grandfather?  Is...God?" Leda said, her voice rising in pitch and volume with each word.

Cas and Dean both looked at the floor, each at least having the grace to look somewhat chagrined at this. Leda stood up and began pacing back and forth in the tiny dining room, barely getting 4 or 5 steps before she had to turn around. This, well, this was not just unprecedented, as Pop had said, but it was insane. Just. Insane. Suddenly her tiny family was a heck of a lot bigger than she had ever suspected, and it wasn't just a few extra family members, it was huge, it was...well, it was biblical.

Leda chuckled mirthlessly. Biblical. She made a funny.

Cas and Dean exchanged worried glances. "Leda?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You, um. Ok, stupid question, but are you going to be all right?" Dean asked.

"Well, Dad, it's not every day that a girl finds out she's half angel and that her grandfather is God. So yeah, I'm just a little wigged out.”

Cas smiled at her. “I think you’re supposed to be ‘wigged out’, angel.”

Leda rolled her eyes. “Angel, huh?” 

“Of course,” Cas responded.

Of course, Leda thought. An angel. Like high school wasn't going to be hard enough.


	13. What Scene Would I Want to be Enveloped in More Than This One?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after Leda finds out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from the poem "I Ask You" by Billy Collins.

When Leda woke up on Tuesday morning, she felt completely normal. Today was no different than any other day.

And for some reason, that just felt wrong. Like she should feel different or something.

Nevertheless, her radio was blaring, and Dad was hollering up the stairs to her about breakfast, and she had to get to school, even though UGH, Spanish and English today.

It wasn't until she was brushing her teeth that she remembered.

Pop's little bombshell.

Right. The daughter of an angel. Half an angel. And she was supposed to head off to school like nothing was any different? Like she hadn't just learned that she's half of a being that she didn't even believe existed until yesterday?

Sure.

She rinsed off her toothbrush and headed downstairs, still in her pajamas.

Dad and Pop were both in the kitchen, eating breakfast. Dad was leaning over, kissing Pop and Pop was kind of giggling, and wasn't that just weird, knowing what she did now? An “Angel of the Lord” (she imagined the air quotes in her head) giggling? Dad looked up from what he was doing and saw that she wasn't dressed yet. "No."

"What?" Leda asked.

"No. That's my answer, no matter what the question is. If your question is 'can I stay home from school today?' the answer is no. If your question is 'can I wear these completely inappropriate pajamas to school today?' then the answer is still no. So, no." And while the words were kind of gruff and it was clear that Dad was deadly serious, his eyes still held a happy, smiling look, like despite the fact that her world had been busted into a bajillion little pieces, his world was just peachy keen, jelly bean.

Pop put his hand on Dad's knee and said "Dean." Once again, Pop and Dad were communicating almost completely non-verbally.

"What?" Dean asked. "She's not wearing that to school, that's for sure, and she is absolutely going to school, so..."

Leda sat down at the table with a sigh and waited patiently through the rest of her fathers' silent conversation. Dad shook his head a few times while Pop just gazed at him, and Leda wondered, not for the first time, whether they really were communicating psychically or if they just knew each other that well. Except wait. "Pop? Are you, like, reading Dad's mind or something? Is that something you can do because you're an angel?"

Dad and Pop both looked startled at the question, and they each opened their mouths to try to respond, but Pop beat Dad to it. "No, angel. Dean asked me not to go "messing around in his head" a long time ago, so I don't do it." He smiled at Leda. "And he is right, by the way, you are going to school, and you are not going dressed like that, so you should go back upstairs and get into something more suitable."

"But you can do it?" Leda pressed.

Cas's brow furrowed a bit, not quite realizing that Leda was still back on her original question. "Do what?"

"Read Dad's mind. Can you read mine?"

Cas shook his head. "I can only read your dad's mind because of the profound bond that we share." Dean looked a bit uncomfortable at this; he never could quite get over hearing Cas talk about it in that matter of fact way of his. "But no, I can't read your mind, not in that way. But I can read you, the way Dad does, and we both know that you want to stay home today." He leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head. "You can't run away from things, Leda. You have to face them."

"High school is not that bad, punkin. You can't go over or around it, you just have to go through. And it gets better, I promise," Dean said.

Leda barely managed to stop her eyes from rolling. "Dad, that sounds like it should be on a greeting card."

Dean laughed. "Guess I missed my calling, huh? Come on, punkin, go get dressed, and I'll make some breakfast. Any special requests?"

"Okay, all right. I'll go get dressed. And I'll go to school. But I won't like it. Just letting you know that I'm going to be really, really cranky today. I might be less cranky with pancakes, though. And some sausage?" Leda asked, a hopeful note in her voice.

Dean went to rummage in the refrigerator. "Pancakes and sausage coming right up, cranky pants. Now go on, scoot. Go get dressed."

After Leda had left the kitchen, Cas turned to Dean, a worried expression on his face. "Do you think she'll be okay today? I am worried that we should not have told her."

Dean sighed, not pausing as he worked with the pancake mix, getting it ready for the skillet. "Cas, you know my feelings on this. We should have told her a lot sooner. It will take her a little while to get used to it, but she will. Besides, letting her sit around at home moping about it will just prolong the process."

"I suppose so," Cas said.

"I know so. Or, at least, Sammy does. I spoke to him about it last night, and that's what he said. You know how good Sam is about emotions and stuff." Dean managed to make this sound like both an insult and a compliment at the same time.

Cas looked skeptical, unsure that Sam would be the best person to have insight into the mind of a teen-aged girl, let alone a teen-aged girl who had just found out she was half-angel. Oh, it was turning out to be much more complicated than Cas had ever really considered when he'd first broached the topic with Dean nearly 18 years ago. Of course, things did not really turn out as Cas had planned, in the beginning. He would not change it for the world, but this wrinkle of their daughter being _his_ daughter, well, that was one that they hadn't expected or planned on in the first place, and now Cas felt a little bit like the whole process had come back to bite them in the ass. He only wanted what was best for Leda, and what would make her happy, but learning that she was part angel seemed to be making her unhappy, and that was not something Cas thought he could tolerate.

He must have had a strange look on his face, because Dean came over and sat down next to him, pulling the chair close. "Hey, Cas." He looked into Cas's eyes, almost as if Dean could see what Cas was thinking, which Cas thought was becoming more possible as the years they spent together expanded into decades. "She'll be okay, I promise. She's amazing, she's our daughter, and well, she just needs time to process. And I know that you're inside your head beating yourself up over this, and I'm telling you to stop it right now, because it's not like you planned it this way, neither of us did. Let's just be happy that she's healthy, and we're all safe." Dean laughed, a short bitter sound. "Amazing that I can say that and it's true, huh?" Bright green eyes stared lovingly into bright blue ones.

Cas nodded slowly, agreeing more with the last statement than any earlier part of what Dean said, but he could almost bring himself to believe the other parts too. Almost. He would just have to watch and reserve judgment for later, he supposed.

Five minutes later, Leda was downstairs again, more appropriately dressed for school in jeans and a t-shirt, her long dark hair pulled back into a sloppy ponytail. She tucked into the enormous platter of pancakes and sausages that Dean had set before her, and closed her eyes in ecstasy as the mixture of pancake and maple syrup hit her taste buds. "Oh my god this is good Dad. Thank you. Although I'm probably going to be in a food coma by the time second block rolls around."

Dean smiled as he ate through his own enormous stack of pancakes. When he noticed Cas giving their breakfasts a gimlet eye, Dean sliced off a chunk of his own pancakes and placed them on a plate in front of Cas, silently handing him the jar of maple syrup. Cas raised an eyebrow, but took the bottle wordlessly, pouring a generous serving of the sticky stuff onto the food. For the next several minutes the only sounds in the kitchen were of silverware clattering against china, and the small yummy noises that each of the three made as they ate their breakfast.

"Do you want one of us to drive you to school, angel?" Cas asked when they had finished, and it was time for Leda to go. She was checking her shirt to make sure she hadn't spilled any syrup on it. When all seemed clear, she just shook her head.

"No, I think that walking is probably a good idea after that enormous breakfast." She kissed Dean on the cheek. "Thanks again for breakfast, Dad." Then she threw her arms around Cas's neck and hugged him oh-so-tightly, not letting go for a good long while. "I'll be okay, Pop. I love you."

"I love you, too, angel," Cas said softly. Leda finally let him go and headed off to school.

"Still cranky, though!" she shouted over her shoulder as she closed the front door behind her.

"She gets that from you," Cas said, pointing at Dean, who just laughed and began to clean up the plates and skillet from breakfast.


	14. But Leave Me a Voice to Speak to Me in the Day End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some drifting apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the beginning of the angst.

It was quiet inside the house when she got home. She scoped out the living room and her dads’ bedroom, and determined that she was home alone. Again. She puffed out a sigh, blowing her bangs out of her eyes as she did so. This was the third time in as many months that she had come home to an empty house, and she hated it. She hated the way the house felt when Dad and Pop were gone. Yeah, Pop was away a lot; off in Heaven doing...well, whatever it was that he did there, but he almost always came home within a few days. (And yes, it was still weird thinking about Pop up in Heaven _working_ like it was his office or something. Still weird, even though she’s known for almost two years.) Except for the last few months, Pop didn’t always come home after a couple of days. Sometimes it was more like a week, week and a half. And now Dad was gone more too. He'd taken up hunting again. Leda understood why Dad needed to do it, it was something that was a part of who he was, and she didn't want to deny him something that was so important to him.

But she had always thought that she had been that important to them, maybe even more important than anything else. It had seemed like for years, it was the three of them (and sometimes uncle Sammy), and that was all that was really necessary. They were a family, they were together, and they didn't really need anything else.

It changed when Leda entered tenth grade, though. Pop spent more time up in Heaven. Dad became distracted, distant. And she just sat there and watched as they drifted away.

She dropped her school bag onto the island in the kitchen and stood in front of the refrigerator, contemplating whether or not she wanted something to eat. After a few minutes of standing in the open doorway, she decided that she didn't. She roamed around the empty kitchen aimlessly, trailing her fingers across the counter tops. Waiting for her under the saltshaker was a note.

It was from Dad.

"Hi, Punkin. Out on a hunt for a couple of days. Should be home by the weekend. Movies? I'll call when I get the chance. Love, Dad."

She put the note back under the saltshaker and sat on one of the stools, her elbows on the countertop, chin in her hands. The last time Dad had been out on a hunt, he'd been gone only two days, and had called in the evening both days. He'd sounded eager to hear her voice, but then once he'd said that he loved her and missed her, he sounded almost equally eager to get off the phone. She'd chalked it up to his being distracted, but now she wasn't so sure.

She could get in touch with Pop, ask him to come home, spend some time with her. It might be fun to have some time with just Pop. They didn't get the chance to do that too often. She thought that if she asked, he'd come right home.

But.

She didn't really want to admit it, but she wasn't one hundred percent sure that he would come home if she asked.

She felt hollow, a lump forming in her throat. As she sat in the kitchen, she felt the house grow unbearably large around her, its silence looming menacingly.

Time passed without Leda really noticing, and when her phone chirped that she had a message, she realized that she was sitting in a darkened kitchen, the light from the street lamp streaming in through the window over the sink.

She pulled her school bag toward her and wrestled her phone out of its compartment. It was a text from Sabrina, her best friend.

_Come over and hang out. SpongeBob marathon._

Leda snorted. Sabrina loved SpongeBob. No idea why, really, other than the stupid little creature was kind of cute. Forget that they were both 16, and the show was clearly aimed at a much younger audience, there was just something really trippy about the show. Leda looked around the kitchen, contemplated the loud, empty silence that was her home, and made up her mind. She wasn't going to spend any more time moping about. When Dad called, he was going to call her cell anyway, and she'd take that with her.

She left her school bag in the kitchen, taking only her phone and her house keys and walked over to Sabrina's for an evening of cartoon antics and silliness. That would take her mind off how much she missed her dads.

Her dad didn't call that night, and she didn't hear from Pop either. She fell asleep on Sabrina's spare bed, and she left for school from Sabrina's house the next morning. She tried to ignore the sad, worried look that Sabrina's mom gave her over breakfast.


	15. Hell Hath No Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Report card time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of language, angst, yelling and general teens and parents not having too much fun. Oh, and someone gets grounded.

"Leda Winchester! Get your butt downstairs right now!" Dean hollered. He was pissed off. No, he was beyond pissed off. He was into fuming territory. His face was bright red and he could practically feel the steam coming out of his ears.

Leda poked her head into the kitchen warily, eyes wide. "Yeah, Dad? What's up?"

Dean held out the piece of paper that he held crumpled in his hand. "You wanna explain this to me?"

Leda stepped into the room and peeked at the offending sheet. Oh. Her report card. She rolled her eyes. "Looks like my report card, Dad."

Dean scowled. "Don't get smart with me, missy. Three F's? THREE? How does that happen? And one of them is in phys ed? Really?"

Leda shrugged. "Phys ed is stupid. We don't actually do anything important in that class, and they grade you on whether or not you dress out. I mean, really, I'm getting graded on whether I can get dressed? I don't show up to school naked, so obviously I've got that skill down."

Dean stared at Leda, shocked. What had happened to his little girl? Who was this angry, sarcastic sixteen-year-old standing before him? He tried to remember when things had changed, when things had taken a turn for the worse, but couldn't come up with anything specific. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He felt the grit of exhaustion in his eyes, the last few days of hunting catching up with him.

"And what about English? And Spanish? And a D in history? Come on, how do you get a D in history? Cas lived through all this stuff, you could just ask him!" Dean shook the paper at Leda.

"No I can't,” she practically growled. Leda put her hands on her hips and glared at Dean.

"What?"

"I can't. Because he's NEVER here! And neither are you! So now you all of a sudden care about my grades? Well fuck you, Dad. Fuck you and fuck Pop too. You can't have it both ways, you know. You can't be out hunting all the time, leaving me here by myself and then come back and expect things to be perfect. I don't give a shit about school, and I don't want to hear it about my grades!"

"You watch your language, young lady," Dean said, pointing a finger threateningly at her. "You will not speak to me like that in my house." Dean could feel his control slipping away, and all he wanted to do was yell and scream and throw things and he was just so damn tired. All he wanted, ALL he wanted was to have a nice quiet evening at home with his daughter and Cas, just the three of them snuggling on the couch (not that he would call it that, but yeah, snuggling, dammit), watching some stupid movie. But no, he had to deal with an angry daughter, an AWOL Cas and bad grades. And frankly he wasn't even sure why the grades were all that important, he was just surprised, that's all. But he'd gone too far to back track, and there was nothing he could do but forge ahead.

Instead of yelling, he forced himself to speak quietly, in a low, dark voice. "You are grounded. You are not to leave this house except for school. You are going to do ALL of your homework and you are going to bring your grades up. AND you are going to apologize to me for speaking to me that way." He saw Leda flinch, and felt a small flash of satisfaction, and then immediately felt guilty for it. He was supposed to be the adult here, and he was failing miserably at it.

Leda's chin trembled as she stared at Dean for a beat, and then she turned on her heel and stalked out of the kitchen. "Fuck you, Dad." He heard her stomp up the stairs and slam her bedroom door.

Dean stood alone in the kitchen, staring blankly at the entrance. He was tired. He hadn't felt this tired in a very long time. They had thought that now that Leda was older, that she was capable of taking care of herself, that they could leave for a couple of days to go on a few hunts, some simple salt-and-burns. Cas had been reluctant at first, but when things seemed to be going well, he had relented. He had even started spending more time away on his own work while Dean and Sam did their thing and while Leda stayed at home.

She was never completely home alone; a series of neighbors checked in on her regularly, not to mention Bobby, who seemed to prefer babysitting duty these days. But they had still managed to screw this up, big time.

No. They had fucked up. Call a spade a spade, Dean thought. This wasn't just a small slip up, oh, oops, I ran out of salt pellets, gosh I'll have to reload. No, this was a big, royal fuck up and they had no one but themselves to blame.

But goddammit, she should know better. They taught her that school was important, and that you didn't blow it off. And who knew what sorts of things she was doing since she clearly wasn't doing her homework?

Dean gave himself a shake, realizing that if she were truly going to be grounded, he'd have to take away her computer and her phone. Oh, that was going to be one peach of a conversation, and he couldn't wait to have it. 

Well, no time like the present, he supposed. He dropped the crumpled report card onto the island in the kitchen and headed up the stairs to beard the lioness in her den. And then he was going to get Cas to come back home so they could deal with this bullshit before it got even worse.


	16. I Guess We'll Both Have to be Patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel comes home to Leda and Dean fighting.

Castiel knew something was wrong the moment he set foot on his doorstep. Something about the energy of the house was off, and the air felt thick with tension and unhappiness.

Oh, yes, and there was the shouting, too.

He could hear them yelling at each other even through the closed door.

"GODDAMMIT LEDA!" This was Dean's voice.

"I hate you!!" And that was Leda's.

What on earth was going on? Castiel didn't even bother with opening the door and walking there, he just flew into the living room, where Dean and Leda were facing off against each other, their faces bright red. The vein on Dean's forehead was throbbing, and Leda's fists were clenched at her sides.

"Cas!"

"Pop!"

They spoke at the same time.

Cas looked at his family. "What is going on?" he asked quietly.

Leda and Dean both started speaking at once. Well, they weren't so much speaking as they were yelling. Cas couldn't really make it out, as their voices overrode each other and echoed off the walls of the house.

"Enough! Stop it, both of you." Cas held his hands up in front of him in what he hoped was a calming manner. "Dean, why don't you start?"

Leda huffed and rolled her eyes, but when Cas gave her a short stare, she refrained from saying or doing anything else other than plopping into one of the overstuffed chairs.

Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas, seeking the other man's eyes, hoping that they would ground him. "Leda's report card was ... less than stellar." Leda snorted at this gross understatement. "So I grounded her and took away her cell phone and laptop."

Cas turned to Leda. "What does he mean by less than stellar, Leda?" Under his insistent gaze, she seemed to shrink into the chair a little bit.

"It's no big deal, Pop. I got Fs in English, Spanish and gym," Leda said. She was doing her best to look bored. If she were being honest with herself, the bad grades bothered her too, but she was not going to give either of her parents the satisfaction of seeing that. The roiling ball of anger that had become part of her daily existence over the last few months had finally broken free, and she wanted to give it free rein, frankly.

Cas tilted his head and stared at his daughter. "Three Fs?"

"And a D in history," Dean said. Leda rolled her eyes again.

"How did that happen, angel?" Cas asked. He sat on the sofa across from Leda.

Leda scowled, but just shrugged.

"That's not really an answer," Cas said, a warning tone creeping into his voice. Leda chose to ignore the warning and didn't say anything, sitting glumly in the chair.

Cas turned to look at Dean. "What did she say to you?"

"That she doesn't give a shit about her grades." Dean tried to catch Leda's eye. "But I don't think that's really true. I think that you're just angry about something."

Leda huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. She stared studiously at the coffee table, seemingly engrossed in the numerous scratches that covered its surface.

Cas sighed. "You will need to apologize to Dad for saying that you hate him. I am assuming that you have also said some other things to him that are pretty horrible, so you should apologize for those as well. Then you will go to your room and work on your homework. How long did Dean ground you for?"

"He didn't say," Leda said, her tone sullen.

"Then you are grounded until you bring your grades up," Cas said.

Leda stood up and began to stomp out of the living room.

"Leda!" Cas said, his voice sharp. "You will apologize to Dean."

Leda turned back to her fathers, eyes blazing with anger and pain. "No, Pop. I will not." She turned on her heel and left the room at a near run. Cas and Dean were left in the living room, waiting for the inevitable sound of her slamming bedroom door, but none came. The house was silent.

Dean sunk onto the couch next to Cas, his head in his hands. "Cas, I...I just don't know what's going on with her. We've been fighting non-stop since I got home."

Cas made a small ticking sound with his mouth as he rubbed Dean's shoulder. "I'm sorry that I didn't get home before now. I should have been here."

Dean buried his face in Cas's neck, inhaling the angel's scent. Vanilla, spice, mown grass, and home. Almost immediately, Dean's breathing slowed and the alarm that had been clanging in his head since he came home quieted to a low buzz. "You're here now." He snuggled in closer. "What are we going to do?"

Cas hummed softly as he thought, but he couldn't come up with any immediate solution to the problem. "Perhaps for now, nothing?" He allowed his voice to rise up at the end of his statement, making it a question. He sensed that Dean was as at sea about this as he was.

Dean nodded. "Can you be home for a while? Do you need to go back?"

"They want me to come back, but I will let them know I cannot. Nothing is more important that you and Leda." He kissed the top of Dean's head.

Dean let out the breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. "Good. Good. We'll figure this out."

"Yes." Cas hoped that was true.


	17. Where Do We Go From Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst with a side of angst, garnished with feels.

"No, Sab, I can't come over tonight," Leda said as she slammed her locker shut.

Sabrina shot her a curious look. Leda NEVER said no to hanging out. "Why not?"

Leda rolled her eyes. "Dad grounded me."

Sabrina shrugged. "Just ask your Pop. That's what I do when Dad grounds me, I ask Mom."

But Leda was already shaking her head. "Can't. Pop came home when Dad and I were fighting. He was the one who said how long I'd be grounded for."

Sabrina was almost afraid to ask. "How long?"

"'Til I bring up my grades. So I'm guessing at least until progress reports go out again, so about a month." Leda sighed. Hugging her history book to her chest, she began walking down the hall to class.

Sabrina followed along beside her. "That totally sucks. Can you at least call later?"

"Nope. They took my phone and laptop too."

"Wow. You must have gotten some pretty bad grades ... " Sabrina trailed off when she saw the fierce look her friend gave her. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's OK. They were bad. Really bad. And then I said some awful things to Dad. And some stuff about Pop, too. It's like..." Leda shrugged. "I don't know, it's like they don't even want me anymore."

Sabrina's eyes grew wide as she listened. "Leda. That is so not true. I've seen you with your dads. They...I mean, wow, they love you so much. I wish that my parents were like that."

Leda took in a shuddering breath. "Maybe. I don't know. The way we've all been acting recently, I don't know anymore. I told Dad I hated him." She said this last in a whisper.

"Do you?" Sabrina asked. They'd reached their classroom, but they stood outside the door, huddled in quiet conversation. Their teacher stood on the other side of the door watching them carefully, but not interrupting.

Leda shook her head. "No! No, of course not. I just hate that they're away all the time now." Her eyes were beginning to itch with unshed tears. She looked over Sabrina's shoulder at their teacher, who now seemed to be hovering by the doorway, tentatively wondering if she should interrupt the two girls. Something in Leda's face seemed to stop her, and the teacher went inside the classroom. Half a second later, the bell rang for class. Leda and Sabrina started, and then hurried into the classroom, taking their seats in the back.

Sabrina stared thoughtfully at her friend for a few minutes while the teacher began class. Then Sabrina took out a piece of paper and wrote two words on it. She folded it and slid it over to Leda, who narrowed her eyes and gave her head a tiny shake. Sabrina widened her eyes and mouthed, "Read it!" to her friend, and then turned her attention to the teacher.

Leda sighed and opened the note. In Sabrina's big, bubbly handwriting it said "TELL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!" Leda began to write something back to Sabrina when she heard her teacher.

"Miss Winchester. Perhaps you can refresh our memory on what we did last class."

Normally Leda liked her history teacher, but there was a small part of her that thought "Bitch." However, since she was grounded, and had a lot of work to do, she obediently began to do as the teacher asked.

\-------

When Leda came home from school that afternoon she was surprised, no, shocked, to find that not only was Dad home, but so was Pop. This was a new development. Even when she was younger, it was usually one or the other, but not both her parents who were home when she returned from school. 

But there they were, sitting on the couch in the living room, both trying not to look as if they had been waiting for her to come home.

"Uh, hi," Leda said, standing in the entranceway.

"Hi, punkin. Good day at school?" Dean came over and kissed her on the forehead.

Leda shrugged. "I guess. How come you guys are home?"

Cas looked up at her from his spot on the couch. "Because you wanted us here."

"Oh." Leda didn't really have anything else to say to that. "Well, um, I'm going to go upstairs and get started on my homework...since I don't have anything else to do."

There was a flicker of disappointment on both Cas and Dean's faces, which Leda chose to ignore. She climbed the stairs to her room, leaving her fathers to stare after her.

Dean turned to Cas. "That went well."

"Did you expect that everything would go back to the way things were just because we were home one afternoon?" Cas asked.

Dean smiled sheepishly. On occasion, Cas could be remarkably perceptive when it came to all things Dean. "Yeah, actually. I'd kinda hoped." Dean settled back into the couch, leaning against Cas, who draped his arm around Dean's shoulder. "Won't be that easy, will it?"

"No, it won't." Cas sighed. "And I don't think we should get off that easy, either."

Dean sat up and looked at Cas. "This isn't entirely our fault, you know. She needs to take responsibility for her behavior."

Cas nodded, his blue eyes dark and solemn. "And we need to take responsibility for ours. We thought that we could leave her, that she would be fine without us here all the time. We underestimated how much she needs us."

Dean's mouth quirked up in a sad half smile. "Hunting is a lot easier."

"But less rewarding," Cas pointed out.

"When a demon says it hates me, I'm cool with that. When our daughter says it..." Dean's voice trailed off. "Do you think she means it?" he whispered.

"Are you asking me to explain human behavior to you?" Cas smiled.

Dean returned the smile. "No, I guess not. It was different when it was me and Sammy, you know? When Sammy and I fought, we could just tousle with each other and give each other a few bruises and then it would be over with. With Leda..." he shrugged helplessly.

Cas made a noncommittal noise, something between agreement and acknowledgement.  "At the risk of stating the obvious, Sam is your brother, and so he was not ultimately your responsibility. Leda is ours. Our daughter and our responsibility. The nature of the relationship is different." He shrugged. "Plus, she's a girl."

Dean pulled away from Cas and stared at him. "Really? You're going with 'she's a girl'? I'd kind of like to raise my daughter without any of that gender roles bullshit, thank you."

Cas frowned. "I don't know what you mean."

Dean sighed and scrubbed his face. "I mean that how many times have we come up against some big bad that's female? It doesn't matter whether she's a girl or not, she's a Winchester."

"Technically, she is not. Biologically, she is my daughter," Cas said.

Dean's face took on a hard look at this. He breathed in and out a few times before answering, trying to control his temper. It didn't seem to be working, so he stood up and looked down at Cas. "She is as much mine as she is yours. Biology or not..." He pointed at Cas, his hands shaking with suppressed rage. "And that…what you just said... I can't believe..." Dean couldn't finish his sentence. He stalked into the hallway and grabbed his jacket from the hall closet. "I'm going out. Don't follow me. Make sure your daughter does her homework." He placed heavy emphasis on the word 'your', and left the house, slamming the door behind him. Cas sat on the couch, puzzled. What exactly had he said, other than to point out a factual truth? Leda was his daughter by blood, and Dean's by adoption. That didn't change the fact that she was their daughter. Cas thought back and tried to remember if this had ever come up before - had they had this discussion about her origins in the past? And did it matter? And if it did, why were they fighting about it now, when she was nearly 16?

Although, if Cas was honest, he thought that for Dean, it mattered very much indeed. Cas reflected on this for a while, turning it over in his mind. Dean was not proprietary about their daughter, but perhaps the reminder that she was fully Cas's daughter, and not Dean's, well; maybe Cas shouldn't have said anything. Despite having lived among humans almost as a human, for nearly 20 years, Castiel found human behavior puzzling at best and insane at worst. This didn't really fall under insane, but it didn't exactly go all the way to puzzling either.

Cas rummaged in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Inside was his driver's license, which listed his name as "Castiel Winchester." He supposed that made him a Winchester too, although it was not as if he and Dean had married and he had taken on the Winchester name. They had just put Winchester on his license because a last name was required. When he had gone to the DMV - (Dean had complained the entire time, whining that going to the DMV was a rite of passage one had to go through only once in their lifetime, and having to do it with Cas was violating some kind of rule. Cas had merely rolled his eyes at Dean and given him a sloppy wet kiss to entice him out of the house.) The woman at the counter frowned when Cas had said that his name was 'just Castiel.' "Ain't nobody just anything, hon. Even Madonna and Cher gotta put last names on their licenses, you're no different."

Dean had intervened. "It's Winchester, ma'am." He beamed a 1000-watt smile at her, and she softened under Dean's flirtatious look. She nodded and turned back to her computer to type in Castiel Winchester. Cas had looked at Dean, a question on his face, and Dean had just shrugged and mumbled something like "It's as good as any." And that had seemed to be that. They were all Winchesters now.

Oh.

Cas wished, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, that he could take back something that he had said to Dean. Even after all this time, he could still manage to say something incredibly thoughtless, something that he knew to be the truth. Both Dean and Sam had tried to explain to him that it was not always necessary to tell the truth at all times, that sometimes it was better to lie, or better yet, to shut one's mouth. Cas wished he'd done the latter, because he'd said one of those things that was technically the truth, but emotionally was a lie, and all it had done was hurt Dean.

So now their daughter was angry with both of them, and Dean was pissed at him. Marvelous.

For a moment, Cas considered running off after Dean, but then he remembered that Dean had specifically said not to follow him. Was this one of those times where Dean really meant exactly what he had said? Or was it one of those times where he should do the opposite of what was said? These situations confused Cas more than anything else. How was he supposed to know what the correct thing was?

A thump from upstairs brought Cas out of his reverie. It sounded like a textbook being dropped on the floor, and he realized that regardless of whether Dean wanted him to follow or not, Cas had to stay here with Leda, because she needed him too. In fact, she probably needed Cas more than Dean did right now. And Dean probably knew that too, but would take another hour or so to cool off before he came to that realization. 

Cas sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Dean was right; hunting demons had been a whole lot easier than this.


	18. Still I'm Sure We'll Meet Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More feels. It's not going to get better just yet.

When Dean returned to the house about 90 minutes later, Cas and Leda were sitting at the kitchen table, quietly eating dinner. Looking up when Dean kissed her on top of her head, Leda noticed that Dean did not give an equal show of affection to Cas, which was weird. They were always touching each other in some fashion, either by just letting their hands brush up against each other, or sitting side-by-side, shoulders and thighs touching, or embracing or even kissing. When Leda was really little, she didn't mind, when she had been in middle school it grossed her out, and now that she noticed its absence, she missed it.

"There's a plate for you in the microwave. It just needs to be heated up," Cas said, not looking at Dean, who grunted in response. He fiddled around with the microwave for a minute or two, waiting for it to heat up and then sat down at the table. He tucked into his food immediately. After a few incredibly uncomfortable moments while he chewed thoughtfully, he put his fork down and look at Leda.

"Did you finish your homework? Do you need any help?"

Leda looked from her Dad to her Pop and wondered why they were being so ... weird. Well, ok, weirder than normal. This weird she did not like. Almost forgetting that she was mad at them, she just nodded and said, "Yeah, it's finished."

"What about your make up work?" Dean spoke around a mouthful of chicken.

"Some of it."

"Why don't you finish up your dinner and clear your plate. Then you can go work on some more make up work before bed." Dean said. He shot a glare at Cas, as if to say, "You didn't think to ask about her make up work?" before he returned his attention to his plate. He had lost his appetite, however, and he pushed the plate away, fixing his gaze on Leda.

Leda just nodded glumly and took two more bites of her own chicken before mumbling something about not being hungry anymore. She cleared her plate and Pop's, and then headed back up to her room, which was quickly changing from being her personal haven into a prison cell. This was going to be a long month.

Cas and Dean sat in the kitchen after she left, neither one looking at the other.

"Dean--" Cas began, but Dean was already standing up.

"I don't want to talk about it, Cas. Not now. I think I'll ... I'll just sleep on the couch tonight." Dean left the kitchen to find extra bedding. Cas sighed and wondered what exactly had happened to screw up this family so quickly. Things had been fine, just fine before, in fact, they had been happy. They had been really happy together, just the three of them. And now being in the house was awful, there was so much that wasn't being said by any of them, so much silence and anger and ... (he did not want his mind to go to hatred, because he couldn't believe that, but the anger was becoming a thing, a palpable thing, and he wondered if it might balloon into something larger and he would be lying if he said that didn't terrify him. There wasn’t much in Heaven or on earth that scared Cas. This was probably number one on the list though).

In their bedroom, Dean pulled a pillow off the bed and held it to his chest. He'd spent much of the time out of the house driving around in the Impala, aimlessly taking turns, a left, then a right, then two more lefts, until he was about 30 miles away and not even really sure of where he was. He had gotten out of the car and sat on the trunk, staring at the sky. He hadn't really hoped to find any answers there, and he was not disappointed. After a chilly 40 minutes or so, he got back into the car and managed to find his way back again.

Now he stood, staring at his bed, at their bed, and he wondered if he would ever feel like he belonged in it again. At first, he hadn't wanted to admit to himself how much Cas's words had hurt him, how disappointed he had felt when he'd heard Cas lay full claim to Leda, to his - Cas's - daughter. Not their daughter. Not Dean's daughter, but Cas's. But the more he allowed the words to swirl around in his brain, the more his muscles tightened and the more his heart squeezed and the less he wanted to actually feel. Because the feelings he had weren't just about the aching loss that he felt as he thought about how he wasn't really a part of this family. He felt anger; red-hot anger like he hadn't felt in a long while, not since he was a full-blown hunter and not since he'd left Hell. The rage that was broiling in his stomach, rage directed at Cas threatened to erupt into something that he would never be able to take back.

He briefly considered leaving altogether, going to Sammy's for a while, and then heading out on the road with him, the way they used to before Leda, but that was nothing other than a fleeting thought, something that he would never truly consider. Because despite what Cas said, Leda was as much his as Cas's, more so, now that they thought that she was probably more human than angel, and there was no way, no way on this planet or any other that he would leave her. Leaving her was not an option, never really was an option.

Was leaving Cas an option? Or getting Cas to leave? He poked at that thought for a moment, worrying at it like a loose tooth, and then thought he'd be better to leave that well enough alone, at least for now. There was too much anger, disappointment and hurt for him to decide now, and they had invested too much love and time for him not to at least give it the full attention it deserved. No matter how much the bitter flavor of Cas's words coated his tongue.

He buried his face in the pillow and was assaulted by Cas's scent, the vanilla, the grass, and the faint floral scent of the shampoo that Leda insisted was best for their hair. He'd inadvertently picked up Cas's pillow. He actually growled and threw it back onto the bed and grabbed a different pillow, his.

Stomping out of the bedroom, he dragged a blanket out of the closet in the hallway and unceremoniously dumped the bedding onto the couch. Now what? It was too early to get ready for bed, but it wasn't like he really had anything else to do. He didn't want to read, and the thought of watching something on TV kind of just nauseated him. He could hear Cas clearing up in the kitchen, dishes clinking against each other as Cas washed them. Otherwise, the house was silent.

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his head, hoping that the feel of the scrubbing against his scalp would work out some of the numbness he was experiencing. It didn't help.

He climbed the stairs and leaned in Leda's doorway, watching her work on some piece of homework. She had pulled her long, dark hair up into a pony tail that hung over the side of her face, partially hiding her from him, but when she sensed him in the doorway, she looked up.

"Dad?" she asked.

He smiled thinly, but just shook his head. "Nothing." Pointing at her desk, he asked, "Need any help?"

"It's my Spanish. You don't know Spanish, do you?" The ghost of a smile teased at the corner of her mouth, because she knew very well that he didn't know any Spanish and would be absolutely no help whatsoever in this arena.

"Not really, unless they want to know how to order something with cheese on it."

A small huffing sound came out of her at this, something that might be considered a laugh. She looked at the page with exaggerated care, and then looked back up at Dean. "No, nothing about cheese on this page, sorry." He smiled at her response.

Dean stayed in the doorway for another few minutes, watching her. When it became clear that he wasn't going to say anything further, Leda gave a small shrug and returned her attention to her work. After a while, Dean realized that he was probably distracting her, so he made his way back downstairs. He noted on his way down that the door to Cas’s study was shut.

Dean sat on the couch heavily and picked up the remote control. Maybe there was something that would distract him on TV, some old rerun. 

Yeah, things really sucked around here.


	19. My Senses are Reeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, feels.

"You should probably go to sleep soon, angel," Cas said from Leda's doorway. Leda looked up at him. His face was drawn, the corners of his mouth pulled down, and he looked so, well, tired. And she knew that kind of thing was just weird, because Pop didn't really sleep, she'd learned. Sometimes he did, because he knew that it made Dad happy, but most of the time, he didn't need it. So, seeing Pop looking exhausted, like he needed to sleep, well, that was a bit scary.

Coupled with the weirdness from dinner earlier, and then Dad hanging out in her doorway, much the same way Pop was doing now, well, weird. Double weird with a cherry on top.

"Yeah, probably. Listen, Pop, um, I'm sorry about some of the things I said to you," Leda said after a minute. Maybe an apology would help, maybe taking back what she'd said about how she hated them would make some of this go away, because this weirdness in the house, the strain between Dad and Pop, yeah. Not cool. On the whole suck-non-suck spectrum, this was WAY BEYOND SUCK. So yes, she was apologizing, even though she was still kind of mad at her fathers.

Cas tipped his head to the side in that way of his, and regarded her. "Do not apologize if you do not mean it, Leda." His usually deep voice had taken on an even more gravelly tone. This was beginning to be his "I am an Angel of the Lord" voice, and that meant that Leda was in trouble, but since she was already in trouble anyway, she figured it couldn't get much worse.

Right?

"I do mean it. I mean, yeah, I'm still pissed off at you and Dad, but..."

"Leda." It was a warning.

Leda held up her hands. "Sorry. Sorry. I'm still _angry_ with you and Dad." Cas nodded his head at her correction, and she continued. "But I don't want you to be angry with each other because of me. Because you are, aren't you? Fighting? You never fight. What's going on, Pop? I ... " she ran down, like a wind up toy that was out of go, and fell silent, not sure she really wanted to know what was going on.

Cas stepped into her room and put his hands on her shoulders, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. "What is going on between your dad and me is not something for you to worry about. What is important is you. You and I. You and your dad. We don't want you to hate us..." Leda opened her mouth to protest. "Shh. Shh. We don't want you to hate us, and we don't want you to be unhappy." He gazed at her, his wonderful, perfect, sometimes infuriating daughter. "And we want you to be successful in school, too, because we know you can."

He knelt down so he was at eye level with her. "Do you understand? Do you understand how important you are to us, even if we don't always say it? Even if we aren't always here? We love you, both of us, with every fiber of our beings. Sometimes that means we get angry with you when you do something foolish, which means that yes, you'll get in trouble. But we will always protect you, love you and cherish you, no matter what."

Leda swallowed around the huge lump that was in her throat, because this was just not the kind of thing that Pop ever said. He kissed her and hugged her and snuggled with her and Dad all the time, but he was not a wordy kind of guy, and for him to just lay this out for her, it just. Well. She was about to let loose with some serious water works, and she wasn't sure that was something she could handle. She bowed her head so her ponytail covered her face, protected her from his gaze and drew in a raggedy breath.

"Leda?" Cas asked, sounding a bit uncertain. "You do know this, right?"

She nodded, and a big fat tear fell onto her jeans with a "plop!" that was really louder than it should have been, but they were both being so quiet and she was barely breathing. She didn't trust herself to do or say anything else, so she just sat there while Pop put his hand on the back of her head and pulled her down to his shoulder. They sat like that while she cried quietly and he just stroked her hair, making soft shushing noises.

Finally, he kissed her forehead and wiped the remaining tears from her cheek. "It's definitely time for bed." She laughed softly and used her arm to wipe her nose, which had gotten embarrassingly runny, because she was never a pretty crier, and really. His mouth made a small moue of disappointment, one that said, "you know better than that", but he didn't say anything. Instead he stood up. At the doorway, he turned around and said, "You're still grounded."

That made her laugh for real, and she stuck her tongue out at him. "I know Poppa."

He smiled at that, at her calling him Poppa the way she had when she was little and gave a little half wave. "Sweet dreams, angel." She stood and stretched, feeling like she'd been pulled through a ringer and put out to dry.

Cas headed downstairs, back to his study, but stopped when he saw Dean laid out on the couch, his arm thrown over his eyes. He watched for a minute, thinking Dean was asleep, but then Dean spoke. "She going to be OK?"

Cas nodded, but then realized that Dean couldn't see him, so he spoke instead. "I think so. She's getting ready for bed."

Dean just nodded, not moving his arm.

"Are you..." Cas cleared his throat. "Are you really going to spend the night on the couch?"

Dean peered at Cas from underneath his arm. "That was the plan, yes." His tone was sharp, a touch irritated, and Cas winced.

"She thinks we're fighting because of her, because of..." Cas waved his arms, not sure exactly what it was that she thought, but he thought that he didn't really need to explain it to Dean.

Dean sat up then, frowning at Cas. "She knows it's not her fault, right? She knows this?"

"Yes, I ... Yes. I told her it wasn't."

"Good." He stood. "I'll go up and say good night to her." He studiously avoided looking at Cas, who could not help but watch as Dean climbed the stairs.

So. That went well. Cas went into their bedroom, but purposely left the door wide open, hoping that Dean would see it for the invitation that it was. 


	20. Each Of Us Stumbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean made a point of being up before either Cas or Leda so he could put away the blanket and his pillow before Leda came down for breakfast. He gingerly put the pillow back on the bed, but he should have realized that of course Cas wasn't asleep, for the second he was about to turn around and leave the room, Cas spoke.

Dean made a point of being up before either Cas or Leda so he could put away the blanket and his pillow before Leda came down for breakfast. He gingerly put the pillow back on the bed, but he should have realized that of course Cas wasn't asleep, for the second he was about to turn around and leave the room, Cas spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Dean scrubbed his face. He wasn't awake enough for this, and even if he were, Cas apologizing wasn't going to fix the problem, not by a long shot. He was still so angry, and he needed to work through all of it before he could even begin to think about talking about it. So, all he said was "Leda's going to be awake soon. I'm going to make breakfast." He heard Cas give a soft sigh of frustration as he left the room.

Dean busied himself with making coffee and some toast. He was meditating in front of the open refrigerator (should he go ahead and make eggs, or would Leda just want cereal?) when Leda came into the kitchen. She eyed him up and down, taking in his pajamas and bare feet.

"No work today?" She asked in a guarded tone.

"Short shift. Don't have to go in for about an hour, and I’ll be home by the time you get home from school." Dean kissed her temple as he handed her a glass of juice. "Sleep well?"

Leda shrugged. "Not really. You know you don't have to baby me, right? You don't have to be here all the time. It's not like I can actually do anything other than homework, so there's no point in you being here to watch over me."

Dean ruthlessly tamped down on the irritation that swept through him. "I know. And I'm not "watching over you". I'm being here for you. There's a difference."

Leda snorted. "Yeah, okay. Will Pop be here too?"

It was Dean's turn to shrug. "Ah, I'm not sure about his schedule. You'll have to ask him."

"Ask me what?" Cas said as he walked into the kitchen. He too gave Leda a kiss and sat at the kitchen table, deciding that he didn't need to go through the show of having breakfast this morning.

"If you were going to be home today too. You know, keeping an eye on the juvenile delinquent." Leda tried to keep the bitter tone out of her voice, she really did. Well, okay, maybe not really.

Cas shook his head. "I will not be here right when you get home, but I will return shortly after you do. Probably no later than four." He chose to ignore the juvenile delinquent comment.

Dean's eyebrows rose at this. First he'd heard of it, but he shrugged mentally. It's not as if he had been so inviting of information sharing recently. Since Leda had helped herself to some cereal, he grabbed his coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

An uncomfortable silence fell in the kitchen, one that kind of made the back of Dean's neck itch. Usually breakfast was a boisterous affair as they all talked excitedly about their day and what might happen. Most of their meals were like that, unless they were all too tired to talk. But not this morning. Leda ate her cereal quickly, her eyes flicking back and forth between her parents. Cas sat in his chair, observing both Leda and Dean as they ate, and Dean was studying his coffee intently.

After a tense ten minutes or so, Leda got up, rinsed out her cereal bowl and left the kitchen, mumbling something about getting ready for school.

"Dean," Cas said.

"Not now, Cas." Dean held up a hand.

Cas made a small, frustrated noise. "Then when, Dean?"

Dean shoved back his chair and stood up. "When I'm not so angry at you that I might do or say something that we both regret," he hissed. When Cas opened his mouth to say something, Dean said, "Don't. Just. Don't." He tried to ignore the shattered look in Cas's eyes as he went to get dressed. He wasn't entirely successful.

Even though Dean's shift at work was supposed to be a short one, it felt like one of the longest days he'd had in a while. And he had experience with days that went on forever. However, he felt like nothing was settling right, from the way his clothing felt against his skin to the coffee and toast forming a cold wodge in his stomach. He was distracted, not really paying attention as he worked on a car in the back of the shop, and finally decided that maybe working _under_ the car was not a great idea.

By the time his shift was over, Dean was ready to practically run out the door. But as he sat in the Impala, he found that he was strangely reluctant to turn the engine over and head home.

Eventually he did turn the car on and head home, mostly because he knew that Leda would need him there when she got home from school. She was still pretty angry with them, he could tell, and he hoped that he could take some time to make it up to her.

And then, he supposed, he would have to talk to Cas, because things couldn't go on as they were. More importantly, he couldn't continue to be as angry as he was, if only because he knew that it wasn't fair. Not to Cas, and definitely not to Leda.

Dean heaved a great sigh as he turned into their street. Their house was about two thirds of the way down on the right hand side. It had a tiny front yard, and while the backyard had been enormous when they moved in, the addition he'd built a couple of years ago took up some of that space. Despite the fact that everyone in the house seemed to be mad at each other in some fashion or another, it was still home, and Dean's heart felt a bit lighter as he took in the sight. When Leda had been about ten, she and Cas had planted a flower garden in the front. Leda had chosen all of the flowers, which had resulted in an annual explosion of color that never ceased to amaze Dean. Leda had spent the last few years keeping the garden up, with Cas's occasional help, although it had long since become her project, her baby. Dean had never really been a flowers kind of guy, but he had to admit that he loved seeing the bright blooms and riotous color when he came home from work on spring days.

Cas and Dean had also planted a crabapple tree the year that Leda was born. It flowered every spring and held onto its leaves through much of the summer, provided that one of them remembered on really hot days to give it some extra water.

Now that it was late fall, however, the front yard was looking fairly forlorn, with the last of the crabapple leaves falling off the tree, and most of Leda's flowers were just stalks, their blooms long since gone. It was a little depressing, but the garden still showed that it had been paid tender loving care, and so was neat and tidy.

Dean pulled into the garage, but instead of heading into the kitchen through the door in the garage he ducked under the garage door as it was closing so he could stand in the front garden for a few minutes. He stood under the crabapple tree and put his palm on its trunk. When they had learned that their baby was going to be a girl, and more importantly, was healthy, Cas and Dean had stood in the front garden, not unlike Dean was doing now, and stared around at the emptiness of it. Cas had remarked that he thought that it needed something, and Dean had made some sort of noncommittal sound in response. They had gazed at the other gardens in the street, and noticed that a few of the houses had their own flowering trees - a few cherry trees, dogwood, and a crepe myrtle here and there. They had a moment of shared communication, eyes locked, and then without a word, they were both in the Impala heading to the garden nursery and asking questions about flowering trees.

It was ridiculous and wonderful and sweet all at the same time, and Dean didn't care how much of a girl it made him, because after all, it was for their daughter.

So they bought the tree, planted it and then waited through the rest of the pregnancy with equal parts anticipation, excitement, terror and dismay.

Once Dean had finally decided he did want to have a child with Cas, and once he learned that it was going to be a girl, he couldn't stop using the phrase "our daughter". Even before Leda was born, he used the phrase at just about every opportunity he could get. The first time he had ever used the phrase was when they were at the garden nursery, looking for that one flowering tree that would be "just right".

"It's for our daughter," he'd said, his voice taking on a hushed, reverent tone. The guy who worked at the shop had politely asked how old she was, and Dean had smiled shyly and said that she wasn't born yet, that she would be born soon, and they'd wanted to get something special, "for our daughter". The guy smiled back, infected by the excitement and love that had shone on Dean and Cas's faces.

Cas had clasped his hand through the entire shopping expedition, and for once, Dean hadn't minded the public display of affection. The whole shopping trip had been one public display of affection, Dean reflected as he looked back on it now. Not in the literal sense, although there had been the hand holding, but in the sense that the entire purpose of the trip had been to buy the tree and to have something that was for their new family, the one that would become more complete once their daughter - that wonderful phrase again - joined them.

It occurred to Dean that not once on that day or any day until their fight, not once, had Cas made any kind of remark that day about how Leda was his, Cas's, daughter. Cas had always used the phrase "our daughter" as well. Of course he had, because, Dean now realized, for Cas, she was absolutely _theirs_ , and not just his. Cas had just been doing what Cas did, which was to point out the literal truth whenever possible, no matter how much it might hurt, because even though they had been a tiny family of three for 16 years, and Cas had been among humans for nearly twenty years now, he sometimes still had trouble when it came to telling the truth all the time. Or rather, he had trouble with the fact that sometimes telling a lie, or a half-truth or even a lie of omission, was okay, in fact, could sometimes even be necessary.

"Dad? What are you doing out here?" Leda asked, interrupting Dean's thoughts.

He smiled at her, realizing with a shock that she was only about four inches shorter than he was, and that he didn't have to look down quite so far to catch her eyes as he used to. It was a bit jarring to realize that their daughter (yes, their) was becoming a young woman. "Oh nothing, just thinking," Dean said. He pulled her into his arms and gave her a squeeze. "Good day at school?"

She brought her own arms up to hug him back and gave a little shrug. "The usual. I turned in all my late Spanish work."

Dean just nodded. He pressed his nose into her hair, smelling her shampoo. After a few minutes, she squirmed a bit and pulled out of his arms. "Are you okay, Dad?" she looked at him, her blue eyes full of concern.

"Yeah. Just getting sentimental in my old age. Checking up on your tree." He patted the trunk of the crabapple tree for emphasis. Leda just looked at him, a look on her face that said that she didn't quite believe him.

"Uh, are we going to stay out here for the rest of the afternoon? Cuz it's a little bit too chilly for that, really," she said eventually.

Dean put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in the direction of the house. "Nah. Let's go in and get you started on your homework. I'll give Pop a call and see if he wants anything special for dinner."

Leda gave Dean a sharp look. "Yeah? Really?"

"Yeah, really," Dean said, as he unlocked the front door and gestured for her to go in first.


	21. Leaving Room for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reconciliation.

"Cas?" Dean called out in the empty kitchen. He was leaning against the counter next to the sink. Leda was upstairs, hopefully working on her homework.

No response. Dean stomped ruthlessly down on the small rising feeling of disappointment. He tried again. "Cas?"

Nothing.

"Oh, come on, Cas. Castiel! Castiel Winchester, come on down!" Dean closed his eyes. "Okay, I'm actually praying now. Cas, will you please come down here so I can apologize to you?" Dean opened one eye and peeked around the obstinately empty kitchen. He managed, just barely, to suppress a pout.

"Cas?" he began, but before he could say anything else, suddenly Cas was there, crowding him into the counter, arms around his waist, bright blue eyes searching his own.

"Dean. I am the one who should apologize to you."

Dean sagged against Cas in relief, resting his forehead in the crook of Cas's neck. "I was the one being all kinds of stupid and stubborn," he said, his voice slightly muffled by the collar of Cas's button down shirt.

"But I was the one who pointed out the obvious when it was clearly unnecessary." He cradled Dean's head in his hand, pulling him closer.

They were interrupted in their mutual apology party by Leda clearing her throat as she stood in the doorway. "Dad? Pop? Can you guys just, uh, kiss and make up already? Cuz this fighting thing totally sucks."

The two men laughed, although Cas managed to simultaneously look scandalized by Leda's language. When they stopped, they stared at each other for another minute, reverting back to their old, familiar silent communication. After what seemed like an age, Dean broke the silence. "I love you." They leaned into each other at the same time, and were kissing, and laughing (and maybe one of them was crying a little bit, but it wasn't Dean, and if it was shut up), and it felt like things were going to be okay. Leda let loose a loud whoop, startling Dean and Cas, who pulled away from each other, embarrassed.

Dean cleared his throat. "Don't you have homework to do?" he said over Cas's shoulder. He tried his hardest to look stern and forbidding, but a smile kept appearing from behind his frown, and he couldn't prevent it.

Cas turned around and looked at their daughter, keeping one hand firmly on Dean's waist. "You should finish your homework. We can go out for dinner in an hour, if you get most of it done by then."

Leda smiled, an evil glint in her eye. "Are you sure you only need an hour? Cuz I could probably take longer with my homework if you need more time."

"OUT!" Dean and Cas shouted. She giggled and ran upstairs to her room, shutting her door ostentatiously so that it was quite obviously closed.

"That was NOT appropriate, Leda!" Cas yelled. He turned back to Dean. "We have corrupted our daughter."

Dean laughed, partly with joy at having Cas back home, partly at hearing Cas say "our daughter" and partly at the absurdity of the entire situation. "It's kind of good that she knows that how much we love each other, though, right?" Dean asked. He sounded hesitant, unsure that he was right, and also, maybe just a bit unsure that Cas would agree that they loved each other so much.

Cas smiled, a great, blinding smile that reached from his full, as ever-chapped lips to his blue eyes, happiness lighting up his face as he looked at Dean. "So much. Although I am uncomfortable with the idea that she thinks that we are going to have sex."

Dean pouted. "We're not going to have sex?" He grabbed Cas's belt loops and pulled him closer so their bodies were flush up against each other.

Cas shook his head. "Not now, we're not. We are going to model adult behavior for our daughter."

Dean groaned and thunked his head down on Cas's shoulder. "I don't want to be an adult."

"Dean, if I didn't know better, I would think that you only wanted me for my body."

Dean snorted. "Where did you learn such a thing?"

Cas heaved a mock sigh. "Dean, I have lived with you for nearly 20 years, and have been among humans for millennia before that. I have managed to pick up a few things."

"Is this sass, Cas? Are you sassing me?"

Cas laughed and kissed Dean again, meaning for it to only be a quick peck, but before he could pull away, Dean leaned in and captured Cas's lips in a deeper kiss. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead on Cas's and they gazed at each other, breathing softly.

"I really am sorry, Dean. I sometimes forget that it's not always the best idea to speak the truth so baldly all the time, and..."

Dean kissed Cas again quickly, and then hushed him. "I won't say that it didn't hurt me, Cas, especially since..." here Dean waved his hand, attempting to encompass all that had passed when they first attempted to have a child, something that they still couldn't really talk about, even nearly 17 years later. "And I can't say that it's okay, because, well...but I can say that I accept your apology. I get that you didn't say it because you wanted to hurt me."

"Dean, I would never, ever do anything to purposely hurt you. I hope that you know that." Cas looked distressed at the thought that Dean believed that Cas would want to hurt Dean.

Dean nodded. "I know, Cas. I know. We've been through much together, right?"

"We have. You are my family, you and Leda, and you are precious to me, Dean, so precious." Cas kissed Dean again, and then they were buried in each other's arms, breathing in each other's scent and just enjoying the shared sense of peace that they felt wrapped up in each other.

"Hey," Dean said after a few long, quiet moments. "How come you took so long to come down here?"

"Hm?" Cas asked, still buried in Dean's neck.

"I had to call you like four times. It's never taken you that long..."

Cas lifted his head, a slightly irritated expression on his face. "Oh. I was running a...meeting, I suppose you could call it. It's generally poor form for the person leading the meeting to duck out right in the middle."

Dean smirked. "Running the meeting, huh? That's my Cas, resident heaven bigwig." 

Cas tilted his head to the side, a slightly puzzled expression on his face as he tried to work out what Dean meant by the word 'bigwig', and Dean couldn't resist leaning in and kissing the wrinkles that were now between Cas's brows. "'S not important, Cas. So, out to dinner, huh? You paying?"


	22. All That We Created

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to ease between Cas, Dean and Leda.

"How are your classes going, sweetheart? Are you bringing your grades up?" Cas asked Leda. Sunday morning in the Winchester household, and breakfast had been made, eaten and cleaned up. Dean was out with Sam, and Cas and Leda were sitting together on the sofa. Cas was reading the paper, while Leda was lying perpendicular to Cas, her toes tucked under his thigh. Leda suppressed a sigh.

"Fine, Poppa. I'm going to get progress reports tomorrow."

"Mm-hmmm. And when will they say?"

This time Leda did sigh, but only a little. "Bs in English, history and gym."

"And Spanish?"

"Better," Leda said. She squirmed a bit.

Cas raised an eyebrow. "What does 'better' mean, exactly?"

Leda scrunched up her face. "D plus?"

Cas grunted. "Angel..."

"I'm sorry Poppa, I am trying. I just ... I don't get it." She pulled her feet away, but Cas gripped her ankle.

"Would a tutor help?" he asked.

Leda shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe? Do I really have to take a language?"

"As I understand it, Angel, there is a foreign language requirement for graduation." He gave her ankle a light squeeze. "You just have to try your best. And I can help you study if you'd like."

"You can?" Leda perked up. This was news.

"Leda, I am an Angel of the Lord. I have existed since before the creation of language. I know all of them, including several that are extinct."

"Poppa! Are you kidding me?" she practically shrieked.

"No, I am not. Dean once told me I should not try to tell jokes because I am not very good at it."

Leda waved the last remark aside. "Poppa! All this time and you never told me! I could have been acing my tests," she pouted.

"It never came up, I suppose." Leda groaned and flopped her head on Cas's shoulder.

"Poppa!" she mumbled.

"Ow. You have a hard forehead, Angel. Are you asking me for my help?"

Leda giggled. "Yes Pop, I am asking for your help."

"Go and get your homework and we'll see what we can do."

\-------

When Dean and Sam returned, they found Cas and Leda snuggled together on the sofa, sleeping. Leda's Spanish homework was spread out on their laps. Leda's legs were curled under her, and she was resting on Cas's chest, his arms around her shoulders. His head was pillowed on top of hers, and she was snoring lightly.

Sam and Dean stood in the archway that was the entrance to the living room, watching them as they slept. Their features were so similar, and their dark hair matched perfectly. Angel and daughter, two peas in a pod.

"Wow," Sam whispered.

"I know, man. We did that - we made that little girl," Dean replied in equally hushed tones.

"Not so little anymore," Sam pointed out.

"Shut up, bitch," Dean said without any real heat. "She'll always be our little girl."

"Jerk," Sam responded automatically.

"Come on, let's grab a couple of beers and sit outside. Let them finish their nap.”

Sam and Dean sat out in the backyard, nursing their beers, enjoying the peaceful moment together.

"Dude," Sam said.

"Hm?" Dean grunted.

"Look at you. You're all...I dunno, relaxed? What is that?"

Dean took a long drink of his beer. "I wouldn't say I'm relaxed. Leda's grades are in the toilet, and she was so angry with me and Cas...god, she might still be. Cas and I had a huge fight like we haven't had in years..." Dean rubbed his face, grimacing as he got some of the cold condensation from his beer bottle on his face. "Half the time I'm certain that I have no idea what I'm doing."

"It didn't look like Leda was mad at Cas the way they were in the living room, man. You don't sleep that deeply around someone you're angry with, you know that." They had spent too many restless nights in motel rooms after their fights to know otherwise - in their own beds, their anger just simmered beneath the covers while they tossed, turned and huffed until the sunlight peeked through raggedy motel curtains and they could start their day, irritable, cranky with the loss of sleep and still angry at each other.

Dean just shrugged.

"And if this is you not knowing what you're doing then you're doing a hell of a job of faking it. She's amazing."

Dean smiled at this. "She is, god, she really is. It's gotta be Cas's genes, you know, angel mojo or something."

Sam felt like hurling his bottle at Dean's head. "It's not just Cas's genes, and you know it. It's both of you, the way you've raised her, the love in this house...it's beautiful."

Dean groaned. "Dude. You are such a girl."

Sam huffed a laugh. "Whatever, jerk. You might not want to say it, but it's true, and you know it." Sam paused. "I'm a little jealous, man."

"Bitch." Dean looked at Sam. "You can totally have this too, you know. In fact, I kinda wish you did, cuz then you'd see how it's not all apple pie and naps on couches." The words sounded sour, but there was a smile in Dean's voice and it was reflected in his eyes.

Sam snorted. "Doesn't look like it's in the cards though." He shrugged.

"Uncle Sam!" Leda cried. She came running out of the house and threw her arms around Sam's neck to give him a gigantic hug. "Dad didn't say you were coming back with him tonight! I'm so glad to see you!"

Sam hugged her back. "Happy to see you too, Leda. How are things going?"

Leda sat next to Sam on the bench he was occupying and rolled her eyes. "Well, these two ogres have grounded me so my social life is in the toilet." She pointed at Dean and Cas, who had joined them outside.

"Uh huh. I hear that's because somebody's grades were slipping," Sam said.

"Well, yeah, okay. But I'm bringing them back up, and Pop was helping me with my Spanish homework, so I think I'll do okay on my quiz later this week. What about you? What have you been up to, anything exciting?" She gave him a sly grin. "Meet any nice ladies recently? Any chance of my getting a little baby cousin?"

Dean smirked and Sam laughed. Cas squeaked out a shocked "Leda!" but Sam waved his hand at Cas indicating that it was all right.

"No, not anyone interesting. Someone's nosy," Sam answered Leda.

Leda shrugged. "Nah, just looking out for you. You shouldn't be alone. Plus, you've got free babysitting right here when...if you ever need it." She smiled brilliantly at Sam, who returned it with fondness. It was difficult for anyone to stay angry with the girl, he reflected, again seeing why Dean and Cas loved her so much.

"Thanks, Leda. I'll keep you posted. _If_ there's anything to update you on." Sam overrode the happy little noise that Leda made.


	23. Inspection Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Leda's report card.

Leda stuck her thumb into her mouth and bit down on the nail, which was already nibbled down practically to the quick. Her report card was coming in the mail today, and she would find out whether her grades had improved enough to free her from being grounded for the last month.

It had been awful, just awful. She only saw Sabrina and Danny at school, couldn't hang out with any of her other friends, and worse yet, she was definitely behind on just a whole bunch of stuff that she was not going to share with Dad or Pop, but it required her computer and dammit she was going to catch up if it killed her (it probably would, it had been a month after all).

So she paced in the hall, stalking the front door, squinting through the pebbled glass at the mailbox at the end of their driveway, hoping to catch the post as it was delivered. Not that she wanted to intercept the report card, but she just wanted it to GET HERE ALREADY, because how much longer could they make a girl wait, after all?

She'd made tentative plans with both Sabrina and Danny (although separately, because there were some things you did with your boyfriend that you didn't want to do in front of your best friend) for tonight and tomorrow afternoon, on the hopes that her grades would be good enough to be able to go out tonight.

She was desperate to get out of the house, if only for a little while. Because while she loved her fathers very, very much, and wasn't really that angry with them any more (just some lingering irritation over being grounded for so long), there was really only so much a girl could take. Spending time with Dad and Pop could be exhausting, because not only did she have to put up with them being all lovey dovey with each other, but then she'd have to manage Dad's occasional irritability and Pop's frequent pop culture ignorance. How was it possible that Pop had lived with Dad for nearly 18 years and still had to have half the things that she and Dad said explained to him? It was a mystery, but not one that Leda was especially interested in solving at this moment.

She took another peek out of the window in the front door (why on earth was the glass pebbled like that anyway? It made it really difficult to actually SEE THROUGH THE GLASS, which she felt was kind of the whole point of a window), still chewing on her thumbnail. Still no sign of the post. Leda sighed and returned to her pacing.

"Leda, you are going to wear a hole in the carpet," Cas said from the entrance to the living room.

Leda nodded. "Just waiting, that's all, Pop."

"Could you do it sitting down in the living room with me?" Cas asked.

Leda smiled, but shook her head. "No, I want to grab the mail as soon as it arrives."

"Angel, it'll arrive whether you're standing in the hallway or sitting in the living room. It's more comfortable in the living room." Cas held his hand out to her to try to get her to leave the hallway.

Leda was about to wave him off when Dean came in through the front door, whistling and looking through the mail. He tossed his keys onto the table by the door and stopped short when he saw Leda and Cas in the hallway.

"Thanks for the welcoming committee, guys," he said. He leaned down and kissed Leda on top of her head and then gave another more lingering kiss to Cas.

"Dad!" shrieked Leda.

"What? What? I can't kiss Cas anymore?"

Leda rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath of exasperation. "I've been waiting for the mail for like TWO HOURS. I was going to get it myself." She gestured at the pile of envelopes in Dean's hands.

Dean grinned. "Now why would that be? Hm?" He continued to flip through the small pile of mail slowly, not really examining the envelopes as he went, a small, dark smile on his face. He kept his eyes on Leda, who was practically bouncing up and down in her frustration.

"Daaaadd!!!" She tried to grab the envelopes out of Dean's hands, but he pulled them away and held them over his head.

"What? Is there something in here you're interested in looking at?"

Leda folded her arms across her chest and pouted, turning to Cas for help. "Pop?"

"Dean." Cas put his arm around Dean's waist and kissed Dean. When Dean's hands came down to rest on Cas's shoulders, Cas pulled the envelopes from Dean's increasingly boneless hands and handed them to Leda as he continued with the kiss. Dean made a small, disappointed sound at the loss of his teasing fodder, but then he leaned into the kiss some more.

Leda, meanwhile, flipped through the envelopes as quickly as she could, nearly missing the one that had her school logo on it. She gave a small cry of triumph, dropped the rest of the mail on the table next to Dean's keys and ripped open the letter. "YES!!!" She cried when she pulled out her report card. She looked up at her fathers. "Dad? Pop? A little focus here?" Dean and Cas pulled away from each other and looked at Leda expectantly. She handed the report card to Dean and said, "Read it and end my inhumane punishment now!"

Dean and Cas made a great show of inspecting the report card in minute detail. They read through the front as slowly as they could, then Dean flipped the paper over to look at the back. Cas, a glint in his eye, tsked softly and turned the report card back over as if to finish reading something he hadn't had the chance to on the front. Leda worried at her lower lip with her teeth as she watched them put on this spectacle.

Finally, they looked at their daughter. "Well," Dean said first. "There's a great deal of improvement here. B plusses in history, English and math."

"Yes, this is excellent. And an A minus in phys ed, that's just wonderful," Cas chimed in. He looked back down at the report card. "Hm. But, Spanish? A C? After all of our hard work?"

Leda groaned and rolled her head forward. "I really, really tried, Pop, I really did. And you really helped me, but...I don't know, I think my teacher hates me or something."

Dean scoffed. "Punkin, no one on this planet could hate you. But Pop is right, a C...you could have brought your grade up just a little more, don't you think? Like even maybe to a C plus?"

Leda looked back and forth between Dean and Cas. "I know, I know. I'm going to try so much harder next quarter. She said that we can start off fresh with a clean slate, and I'm going to work my butt off and try to get at least a B in Spanish and keep all my other grades up and can I please, please, please, please not be grounded anymore? Pleaaassseee????"

Cas and Dean looked at each other, smiles playing at the corners of their lips. "I don't know..." Dean said. Cas made a small noise that could have been disapproval or could have been a grunt.

"Oh my god you guys are killing me. PLEAAAASSSEEE? I am begging you," Leda said.

"What do you think, Dean?" Cas asked.

"Well, I suppose we could --"

The words were barely out of his mouth when Leda began to squeal in excitement, practically throwing herself into Dean and Cas's arms. "Oh thank you thank you thank you!!!! Can I go out tonight, please? Danny wants to take me out for dinner, and we haven't had a date in a really long time, and...”

At the mention of Danny's name, Dean's smile faded away, and he pursed his lips in disapproval. Cas's eyebrows lowered just the slightest amount.

"Leda, angel, tonight is our movie night," Cas said.

"I got 300 for me and Cas and Becoming Jane for you," Dean said.

"Really? Really? I've been grounded for a MONTH. I just want to go out with my boyf-- with Danny," Leda said.

"Compromise," Cas said after a few minutes of Leda and Dean scowling at each other. "You and Danny can go out for dinner and then come back here for movie night."

Both Leda and Dean opened their mouths to object, but Cas just folded his arms across his chest and looked back at them, daring them to say just one word against his suggestion. Dean looked at Leda and they both laughed. "Pop is in 'Angel of the Lord' mode, punkin. Guess we'd better listen to him."

"Fine. I'm going to go call Danny." Leda started up stairs, but then turned back around and hugged Dean and Cas again, holding on to them tightly. "Thanks Dad, Pop. I love you."

They both squeezed back, kissing her on the head. "Love you, too, Angel."

"Good job on your grades, punkin, we're proud of you," Dean said.

"Did you catch that she called him her boyfriend?" Dean said to Cas when Leda was safely out of earshot. Cas nodded, a disconcerted look on his face. Dean scowled again. "I don't like it."

"Hm. Neither do I, but at least this way, he's coming over here," Cas said.

"I'll be sitting between them on the couch," Dean said.

Cas sighed. "Then how will you and I snuggle?"

"First of all, I do not snuggle. Second, we are not snuggling in front of Leda's 'boyfriend.'" Dean made air quotes with his fingers when he said the word 'boyfriend.'

"Dean, you do snuggle," Cas said, wrapping his arms around Dean's shoulders.

"I do not," said Dean, as his arms went around Cas's waist.

"You absolutely do." Cas leaned up and kissed Dean, putting an end to the argument.


	24. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff - Leda, Dean and Cas go shopping.

"Homecoming court? What is a Homecoming Court?" Cas asked Dean.

"Huh? What?" Dean looked up from the car part that he was examining.

"Homecoming Court. I want to know what it is. There's an e-mail from Leda's school. She's been nominated by her teachers to be on the Homecoming court. Is this some kind of ritual hazing event?"

"Leda was nominated to be on the Homecoming Court?" Dean asked.

"That's what I said, Dean. Will you please explain what it is?"

Dean put the car part down on the newspaper that he had placed on the kitchen table and stood over Cas's shoulder, reading the e-mail in question. "Uh, well, so there's a big football game in the fall that they call Homecoming. The football team plays at home, and, uh, they nominate students to be part of this court thing, and then the students vote for the king and queen of the dance, which is the day after the game." Dean re-read the e-mail. "Leda was nominated?"

"Yes, the e-mail from the principal says that the teachers chose from all the senior class. There's an assembly in a few weeks and they want us to be there to 'present' her. What does that mean?" Cas tilted his head up to look at Dean, who looked just as confused as Cas seemed to feel.

Dean shrugged. "I have no idea. I never was into any of that Homecoming stuff in school. I went to one Homecoming dance, but I didn't..." Dean coughed. "I didn't stay long." Cas gave Dean a knowing smile. "Sam might know, or we can just wait to ask Leda when she gets home," Dean finished. He rested his hand on Cas's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, a sign of affection that was almost absent minded. Cas ghosted his fingers across Dean's as they rested on his shoulder, a small stolen moment.

Leda arrived home not long after that, practically vibrating with untold news. "Dad! Pop!" They were seated on the couch, watching the news. She plopped down next to Cas. "Guess what?!"

"What is it, Leda?" Dean asked.

"I've been nominated to be on the Homecoming court!!! I could be Homecoming Queen! And Danny's already asked me to go with him to the dance, although he wasn't nominated, but he says that's totally okay with him, because then he'd get to be the guy who took the Homecoming Queen to the dance, and..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, punkin, slow down," Dean said. "What does being Homecoming Queen mean, exactly?"

Leda paused for a breath. "Oh. Well, if you're chosen, you'll be crowned at the dance, and there's a special dance for you and the Homecoming King, and…I think that's kind of it." She shrugged. "Okay, so it's a little bit lame. But I'd get to wear a crown. And the teachers nominated me, so that's kind of cool. Oh! And they want you two to come to school with me on the day of the assembly when they present the court to the school."

"What for?" Cas asked, stunned by the volume of words that were flying out of his daughter's mouth.

"Well, if it's anything like the last three years, they announce the court to the school, and each nominee gets escorted around the auditorium by their parents, usually the boys have their moms come, and the girls have their dads." Leda squeezed Cas's arm tightly. "Can you both come? It would be so cool if you guys could both be there and I could walk around with you both on my arms and show you off."

Dean raised his eyebrows toward his hairline. This sort of sounded like the kind of thing that he mocked mercilessly when he was in school, but it was obviously important to Leda. He looked at Cas, who seemed to have reached the same conclusion.

"Uh, sure, Angel, that sounds ... fun," Cas said.

Leda gave a little squeal and hugged Cas and then leaned over to give Dean a kiss. "I know you guys probably won't think it's fun at all, but I'm so glad you're both going to be there. Oh! I have to call Sabrina and tell her!" And like that, Leda was up off the sofa and dashing upstairs, already dialing her cell phone.

Dean and Cas studiously avoided looking at each other for a few minutes, trying to hold back the fit of giggles that threatened to overtake them both. Finally, Dean said, "Did you ever think, back when we were trying to stop the apocalypse, that one day we'd be sitting here with our squealing 17 year old daughter listening to her talk about being Homecoming Queen?"

"No Dean, I can honestly say that there is nothing about the conversation that we just had that I had ever would have predicted." A snort of laughter escaped his lips.

"Yeah, me either. Being a parent is surreal."

"Indeed."

\-------

"I had no idea that this would be such an involved process," Cas said as they drove to the mall.

Leda leaned forward from the backseat. "Oh yeah, well, I have to have a dress for the assembly, and then I have to have an outfit for the pep rally, and then a dress for the dance."

"Punkin, we can't afford to buy you three outfits," Dean said from the driver's seat. "And can you put your seatbelt on, please?" Leda thrust herself back against her seat and buckled up with only the tiniest of eye rolls.

"Well, okay, but I need a dress for both the dance and the assembly. I don't have any dresses."

"What about that blue one? The one you wore to Sabrina's bat mitzvah?" Cas asked.

"Uh, Pop, that was four years ago. That dress doesn't fit anymore. I don't wear dresses, remember?"

Cas reflected back, trying to remember if he'd ever seen Leda in a dress or even a skirt, and other than the bat mitzvah, he was unable to come up with anything. "Hm. Well, okay. Why do you have to have two dresses, though? Can't you wear one dress to both things?"

"Oh Pop. You can't wear the same dress to a semi-formal dance that you wore to a school assembly," Leda said, as if that explained everything.

"Why not?" Cas asked.

This question did earn Cas the full eye roll. "Well, for one, the dance is semi-formal, and a dress for a dance is usually a lot more fancy. For the assembly, I'll just need something simple. I don't know, maybe something black. But I think I want to wear blue to the dance."

Cas looked at Dean and raised an eyebrow. "Dean."

"Don't look at me, Cas. I'm just driving here," Dean said. However he did take his hand off the steering wheel and folded his fingers into Cas's, smiling at him. "This won't take too long, I hope." He looked at Leda in the rearview mirror. "Right punkin? It won't take too long?"

With a short shrug of her shoulders, Leda managed to convey the impression that she didn't really know how long it would take and that it would take exactly as long as it needed to. Dean felt a sinking sensation in his stomach at this: the one thing he really did not enjoy about having a daughter was the shopping. He could do without having to shop for all kinds of things, really, but dress shopping and undergarments, those two things he was definitely over the second he started having to do it.

A second glance in the rearview mirror showed an enormous grin on Leda's face as they drove, and Dean relaxed a little bit, because really, that was why he and Cas were doing this, because it made Leda happy. And so there they were, pulling into a parking space in front of Macy's and heading over to the junior misses section of the store.

Nearly forty-five minutes of shopping later left both Dean and Cas feeling incredibly uncharitable about the entire fashion industry and they definitely hated Macy's. At one point, Cas leaned over and whispered to Dean "I think I would like to smite the teacher who nominated Leda for this 'Homecoming' thing."

Dean gave a snort of laughter into his fist. "I don't think that's a great idea, Cas. I'm not sure we could explain that to the PTA." Cas pouted - actually pouted - and folded his arms over his chest. Leda bounced out of the changing room in what had to be the hundredth black dress that she had tried on and she twirled for her fathers to see.

"No."

"Absolutely not."

"But--"

"NO," Dean growled. Cas just shook his head.

"What's wrong with it?" Leda said, craning her neck to look at the dress from a different angle.

"Too short," Cas said.

"Too tight," Dean said.

"You said that about the last dress. And the dress before that!"

"Are you sensing the pattern then? Try something different," Dean said.

"What about that one with the long sleeves and skirt? And the..." Cas waved his hand in a circle. "Things. The frills."

"Really, Pop? That's like a dress for a 90 year old, not a 17 year old. I would not be caught dead in that dress."

"Leda, you're not going to be caught dead in that dress either, so go try something else, come on. Chop chop. We'd like to get out of here at some point today," Dean said. He made a shooing motion with his hands.

Leda sighed with exasperation, but went back into the fitting room. Dean and Cas rolled their eyes at each other in imitation of Leda, and laughed.

"Just think, there's prom to look forward to," Dean said.

Cas frowned. "Isn't prom the dance where everyone has sex afterwards? She's not going to prom."

"You wanna be the one to tell her that? I think your angel mojo might just protect you, but I want to be in another state when you guys have that conversation," Dean said.

Leda came back out of the dressing room. "OK, there are like two left after this one, if you don't like any of them, we're going to have to try another store. So, what do you think of it?" She twirled around. The dress was a champagne color, with a full skirt that fell just below her knee. It had a narrow bodice and thin straps for the shoulders. Cas and Dean just stared for a minute. Leda worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she waited for them to react. This was actually her favorite of all the dresses, but because it was sleeveless, she didn't think that they would go for it unless she showed them several dresses that they would absolutely hate before she got to this one. She hoped that her plan was working.

"Wow, punkin, you look beautiful." Dean stood up and grabbed her hand and twirled her around a bit. "I like this one a lot."

Cas stood too, and inspected the back. "I don't like it, Dean. It shows her shoulders. She shouldn't be showing this much skin."

"Pop." Leda turned around and put her hands on Cas's shoulders, looking him in the eye. "I know you would like it if I wore a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but that's not the way this works. All of the dresses will either be too short, or too tight or show too much if your goal is to have me show no skin. So you gotta pick the one that's the best of the worst." She smiled. "I really like this one a lot. Come on, please?"

Cas looked at Dean, and pulled out his puppy eyes, but Dean looked at the floor. "No man, you can't use those on me. Try 'em on her, but I don't think it'll work. She's right, it's the best of all of them."

Cas sighed heavily. "Well, I suppose it's okay."

Leda hugged Cas and whispered in his ear. "Thanks Pop." She headed back into the fitting room. "Great, now I just need a dress for the assembly!"

"Wait, what?" Dean said. He'd forgotten that they were here for two dresses. "Kill me now, Cas. Just kill me."

Cas laughed. "Only if you kill me first."

Dean looked at Cas, eyes wide, and his lips forming a small 'o'. "That doesn't even make sense Cas."

Cas's lips quirked up in a tight smile. "I know, but I don't think I can take this any more than you can."

"Really, how many more dresses can there be?" Dean asked.

"Dean, you probably should not ask questions that you don't really want to know the answer to," Cas replied. He put his arm around Dean's waist and steered him back to the sofa they'd been sitting on while waiting for Leda to try on the dresses. At least there was a place for them to wait comfortably. They settled in for a long wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This (http://onlybritainisgreat.tumblr.com/post/32913927043/wow-this-is-gorgeous-emma-youre-stunning) is the dress I was thinking of, just add straps, because I can’t see them going for something completely strapless.


	25. A Life Remembered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leda goes to college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the looong delay in posting. Thanks for sticking with me on this story. It was just something I kind of had to write, and it made me really happy to do it, and I'm so glad that you guys enjoyed it. Thanks again. Love you!

Dean and Cas lay in bed, each staring at the ceiling, lost in their own thoughts. College. Their little girl was heading off to college. It was early April; the birds were chirping and bright green shoots appeared on bare branches.  
  
College acceptance letters were wending their way to high school seniors across the country.  
  
Each morning for the last two weeks, they had woken to the realization that they would know soon, that they would find out which school Leda would attend in the fall. University of Iowa? Northwestern? UCLA? Tulane? Each school was further away than the last, and each one meant that their little trio of a family wouldn't exist anymore, not as it had.  
  
Dean rolled onto his side, facing Cas, who turned his head. "I don't know which is worse, Cas. Not knowing at all, or knowing for sure."  
  
Cas trailed his finger across Dean's forehead, down his temple, cheekbone and lips, which Dean pursed in a ghost of a kiss. "Not knowing, I think. The possibilities are too many, and too many are too far away," Cas replied. Dean nodded, and they fell silent again.  
  
Cas took the opportunity to look at Dean, really look at him instead of at his soul. Cas was startled to realize that Dean was so much older. When Cas looked at Dean, most of the time he saw Dean's soul, his bright beauty that shone brighter when the two of them were together, and even brighter still when they were with Leda. In Cas's minds eye, Dean's features were exactly as they were when they first met, over twenty years before.  
  
But the intervening years had left their mark, and the face that Cas saw before him was no longer the face of a young man at the tail end of his twenties, but instead, the mature, silver-haired face of...how old was Dean? Cas calculated and realized that Dean was fifty, and while he was healthy (for the most part, cholesterol was an issue, but Dean absolutely refused to give up burgers and pie), the wrinkles in Dean's forehead and around his eyes told the tale of a man who had experienced a great deal of difficulty in his lifetime. His eyes were bright youthful however, holding the spark that had been there since Cas first laid eyes on him.  
  
Dean pulled his head away from Cas, unnerved by the intensity of the angel's gaze. Even after all these years together, sometimes Cas would stare at Dean, and it would be so acute and fierce that Dean would be reminded again that this man, his Castiel, was not actually human. "What? What is it, Cas?"  
  
A ghost of a smile appeared on Cas's lips. "Nothing. I'm just seeing you."  
  
Dean frowned. "Uh, Cas, you see me every day. What's that even mean?"  
  
Cas rested his hand on the side of Dean's face and swept his thumb over the wrinkles at the corner of Dean's eye. "You're...you're older." He struggled to come up with the words to express what he was seeing, what he was feeling. "I normally see you as you are, in here," Cas placed his palm against Dean's heart. "So I don't see the you that everyone else sees. I was just...startled, that's all."  
  
Dean snorted a puff of laughter. "Kind of creeps up on ya, doesn't it? First time I realized there was more grey in my hair than anything else..." he shrugged, brushing it off. "But you...people are going to think I'm robbing the cradle." Dean ran his fingers through Cas's dark hair, which hadn't changed at all in twenty years, except for one attempt by Leda to cut Cas's hair (it had been a disaster, and they all agreed to never speak of it again). His hair was dark and full, always slightly rumpled, and his face was as smooth as it had been twenty years ago. "You don't look like a man whose daughter is going to college in about five months. You look like you just got out of college."  
  
Cas laughed softly. "Not even close."  
  
Dean scooted closer to Cas and kissed him. "Not even close," he whispered. They stayed like that for a while, snuggled in each other's arms, breathing quietly, enjoying the peace of just being together. When they heard Leda coming downstairs, they pulled apart, Dean standing up with a groan. "Ah. Feeling a bit like an old man today."  
  
Cas just shook his head and hugged Dean to him for a second. "You'll never be old to me," he murmured.

Leda nodded to them over her cereal when they joined her in the kitchen. She had already fixed a pot of coffee, and Dean poured himself a cup, making happy 'I love coffee' noises as he did so. They finished breakfast fairly quickly, and then sat staring at each other over the table, exchanging 'what now?' looks. It was one of those Saturdays where none of them really had anything planned, and weren't really sure what to do with their day. It was an odd moment, because they didn't happen all that frequently.  
  
"Should I call Sam? Maybe we can hang out, have a barbecue later or something," Dean said eventually.  
  
Leda nodded. "That sounds great, Dad. I'm going to ... uh," she pointed toward the front door. "Wait for the mail."  
  
Cas rolled his eyes. "Angel, it's not going to come any faster if you hover. Why don't we work in the garden? Then you can be doing something and keep an eye out for the post at the same time."  
  
"That's a great idea, Pop. Come on, let's get started."  
  
Time, being the wicked creature that she was, passed quickly and slowly all at once. Cas and Leda worked away in the garden, pulling up weeds and dead plants, while Dean pulled the Impala out of the garage and tinkered with the engine. It didn’t really need the attention but that didn’t stop him from worrying over her.  
  
By the time the postman came and had nothing more interesting than a bill or two, Leda and Cas had finished with the work in the front garden and Dean had mowed the lawn in the back. Leda sighed grumpily and said she was going over to hang out with Sabrina. “Might go to a movie with Danny, later.”  
  
“Back by midnight, Leda,” Cas said. She nodded her agreement and headed down the street.  
  
The days passed like that, waiting, doing small things around the house, and going to school and work. And sometimes the days were the longest that Leda had ever experienced, and always the days were the shortest that Dean and Cas had experienced.  
  
By the middle of April, Leda had heard from all the colleges she’d applied to, and had gotten in everywhere except for Northwestern. Cas and Dean waited on tenterhooks for her decision – would she stay in state and be less than half a day’s drive away, or would she go to California or Louisiana? When they had done their college trips in the fall, she had fallen in love with each school equally, as far as they could tell, and so there was no true frontrunner. They had all offered about the same amount of scholarship money, and Leda had even managed to apply for some additional grants so that for the most part her tuition was covered. Sam had offered to help out as well.  
  
The deadline for Leda to indicate her choice loomed large, literally and figuratively – she had circled it in bright orange pen on the calendar in the kitchen, and it served as a reminder to all of them every time they passed it.  
  
Finally, the day was upon them, and Leda was standing in their bedroom door asking if she could come in. They’d been cleaning out their closets (so hopelessly domestic, Dean thought to himself, and even after twenty years he wasn’t used to it), and were grateful for the break. They sat on the bed, waiting for Leda to tell them her decision.  
  
She spent a long time working up the courage to tell them what her choice was, and each silent moment weighed heavily upon the small family. Finally, she blurted, “I’m gonna go to UCLA. I know it’s really far away, and that it’s not in state, so tuition’s more expensive, but it’s a really good school, and I really liked California and…” she trailed off as Dean and Cas both wrapped her in their arms, squeezing her into one gigantic Winchester bear hug. They hugged each other as tightly as they could, attempting to put into the hug the words that were trapped in their throats. The pride, the love, the anxiety, and the sadness was all wrapped up into one warm embrace.  
  
Reluctant to let go of Leda, Dean and Cas loosened their arms but stayed close to her. “Can’t wait to get away from us, huh?” Dean said after a minute. Leda laughed slightly at that, the sound mixed with her crying. She wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand.  
  
“No, Dad, you know that. It’s just…it’s California. It’s…”  
  
“I get it punkin, I do. You know I don’t do this kind of thing really well.” He waved his hand at himself, at the tears that were obviously forming in his eyes that he was willing not to fall. They were not listening. Cas sat quietly next to them, feeling no such need to control his emotions; he was crying quietly.  
  
Cas smiled. "It's a good choice."  
  
“Wow. I,” Leda sniffled and wiped her eyes again. “I didn’t think this would be so…you know, so like this. I am really excited to go to college, but…”  
  
Cas nodded. “We know, angel. We’re excited for you to go too. We just don’t want you to leave.” He heaved a sigh. “But you have to, that’s part of growing up.”  
  
“Well it’s awesome and it sucks. Just wanted you to know that.” Leda looked around the room, searching for something. “And why don’t you guys have tissues in here?”  
  
Dean laughed, grateful for the lighter tone, even if it was for a moment. “In the bathroom. We’re manly men, punkin, we don’t need Kleenex in the bedroom.”  
  
Leda rolled her eyes and gave Dean’s shoulder a soft push as she got to grab the box from the bathroom. She came back and plopped it down between them, two already crumpled in her fist. Cas pulled one from the box and blew his nose.  
  
“So uh, are you guys going to be okay without me?” Leda asked after a bit. This question earned her a smirk from both fathers.  
  
“Angel of the Lord, Leda,” Cas said, smiling through his tears.  
  
“Former hunter, punkin,” Dean said, and no, he was not crying. Shut up.  
  
“Sappiest Dad and Pop on the planet,” she said, wrinkling her nose at them. The room filled with the sound of their laughter.  
  
“We should have a party to celebrate. Sammy can join us, and you can invite Sabrina,” Dean said. He hesitated. “And Danny. You can invite Danny too.”  
  
Leda nodded. It was a good idea, and it would be fun. Thankful for something to focus on that wasn’t quite so emotional, they began planning the party, which in the end would be really small, just family, and Sabrina and Danny. The party ended up being a lot of fun, and everyone got along well, Dean and Cas seeming to make an extra effort to be nice to Danny. The fact that Danny was going to Cornell University had nothing to do with it. Nope, not one little bit.  
  
Time again played her tricks on the little family, and before they knew it, Leda had graduated and the summer flew by in a flurry of activity. There were supplies to be purchased for her dorm room, forms to fill out, and doctors to visit to ensure that she had all her immunizations and that she was healthy. Leda was healthy; in fact she was quite probably the healthiest person that the family doctor had ever seen, apart from Cas. It seemed that the only aspect of Castiel’s angel-hood that was passed onto Leda had been a shockingly strong immune system. Leda had not gotten sick once, not ever, and she was physically stronger than most other children, or even adults. She was nowhere near as strong as Cas, but she could sometimes, when she really concentrated, give Dean or Sam a run for their money. All of this meant that having a family physician for Leda was hardly necessary, but since UCLA required documentation, as did just about every other institution that the family interacted with, they kept up the appearances.  
  
And so it was August, and they were packing up the Impala to head out to California, deciding that they would make a road trip of it before Leda had to attend freshman orientation. Sam was there to say goodbye, news of a new girlfriend who had a lot of potential, he confided in Leda, making her promise not to tell Dean or Castiel just yet. She smiled and winked at him, pinky swearing that it would be their secret until Sam was ready to share. He gave her a great big moose hug and didn’t let go for several long moments, surprising himself with how sad he was to see her go.  
  
“Keep in touch, okay? Let me know how things are at school, how your classes are,” Sam said.  
  
“Of course, Sammy. You’ll be sick of how much e-mail you get from me, I promise.” Leda gave him a kiss on his cheek. “And you keep me posted on…you know.” Sam promised that he would and then he was leaning in through the window of the Impala as he shut the door behind her.  
  
“Have a safe trip guys. Call when you get back,” Sam said to Dean and Cas. The two fathers waved as they drove away, and Leda stared out the back window at the small house in which she had grown up. She knew that it wouldn’t be the last time she would ever see the place, but this particular leaving had a certain amount of finality to it that she wasn’t expecting.  
  
They drove and drove, Dean actually allowing Leda to share in the behind-the-wheel time, and, as usual, Time made them her bitch and suddenly they were in Los Angeles, driving down the large city streets and boulevards and turning onto campus. They found parking and unloaded the Impala and took a brief campus tour. Leda had memorized the maps of the campus, and was able to show them around, practically bouncing as she did so. The day was a perfect Los Angeles day, filled with sunshine and bright blue skies, barely a cloud in them, as if LA was showing off all that California had to offer.  
  
It was time to say goodbye, and none of them really wanted to, but it had to be done. They stood outside of Leda’s dorm, Dean and Cas leaning against the Impala, Leda facing them, all of them struggling not to cry. It was, of course, a fruitless struggle.  
  
“We have a gift for you punkin,” Dean said finally. He clasped Cas’s hand in his, weaving their fingers together.  
  
Leda tilted her head, so reminiscent of Cas that Dean felt a twinge in his heart – this little girl – this woman – was so much her father’s daughter it was eerie. “What’s that, Dad?”  
  
Dean reached into his pocket and pulled something out, holding it tight in his fist until the last possible moment, when he dropped it into her hand. She looked down and saw that it was a set of car keys. And it was not just any set of keys, but the keys to the Impala. Leda looked at Dean, eyes wide in shock. “What? You’re…you’re not giving me in the Impala. How are you going to get home, what are you going to do without it? You love this car, why would you…” she babbled.  
  
It was Cas who answered, because it seemed that Dean was unable to really speak through the lump in his throat. “I will be taking Dean home. We want you to have the car. Dean wants you to have it so you can get around Los Angeles more easily.”  
  
“But Dad, you love the car, why would you give it away?” Leda asked.  
  
“I love you too, and here we are, giving you away,” Dean said around the lump in his throat. “I know you’ll take good care of her, and it seems only fitting that this be like a rite of passage for Winchesters. I got the car from my dad when I was 19, so, the timing seemed right. I want you to have it.”  
  
Leda stared at Dean and Cas for a long moment, and then looked down at the keys in the palm of her hand. “Wow. This is amazing, Dad, Pop, thank you.” She hugged them separately, and then together. “I love you, and just, thank you,” she said again.  
  
“Go on, find her a good parking spot. Call us and let us know how orientation went,” Dean said. They pushed off the side of the car, and Leda got into the drivers’ side. She looked around the interior of the Impala and then started the ignition, pulling away slowly from the curb. She waved through the window as she drove away.  
  
Dean and Cas walked slowly through the campus, hand in hand. “She’s going to be all right,” Dean said, as much to himself as to Cas.  
  
“Yes,” said Cas. “We’ll miss her though.”  
  
“I already do. Is that stupid?” Dean asked.  
  
Cas stopped walking, forcing Dean to do so as well, since they were holding hands. “No, I don’t think it is. I do too.” He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. “I love you, Dean.”  
  
Dean smiled. “I love you too, Cas.”  
  
They headed off again, searching for a secluded spot where Cas could Angel-air them home. Mere moments later, they were home again. Perhaps sensing that they needed the comfort, Cas had zapped them into the bedroom, and he tugged on Dean’s hand toward their bed, the one that Dean had so lovingly bought and outfitted when they first moved in all those years ago. They settled in, leaning against the myriad pillows, stretching out next to each other.  
  
They sat in silence, contemplating on all that had passed in the past few days. They were leaving Leda behind to start her life on her own, knowing that she would come back to them and fill back up the empty space she had left. Dean marveled that this is how his life turned out, that they were so far from where he thought he would end up. If he had been asked about this moment, a late August moment more than twenty years in the future, he would have been able to guess that Sammy was still around. He would have hoped that the Impala was still around (although now he supposed it wasn't, and he was actually, actually okay with that), but he would never have guessed, not in a million years that he would have a family. He would never have been able to predict that the last twenty years had happened. Forget the fact that the love of his life was a freaking angel of the Lord, or that he was actually a guy, because there is no way that anyone could have predicted that.  
  
But Leda? No, he couldn't have predicted her existence, her place in their lives, in their hearts, but looking back on the last 18 years, there was nothing he would change.  
  
“Mmhm, me either,” Cas said. Dean realized he must have spoken that last thought out loud.  
  
“Feeling maudlin and sappy, Cas. Not sure I like it.”  
  
“I do. It’s you; it’s who you always were. You never wanted anyone to know it about you, but you have always been this way. You just hid it underneath your flirty smile and hard exterior,” Cas said.  
  
“Cas, I don’t know whether to be insulted or not.”  
  
“Dean.”  
  
“Cas.”  
  
“I am not insulting you. I know you, perhaps even better than you do. Do you remember what I said to you when I first proposed that we do this?”  
  
Dean thought back, remembering how scared he was that he had screwed up when he said no, how terrified he was that he would screw up, and he remembered Cas being calm and determined, believing that this was absolutely the right choice for them.  
  
“You said that you couldn’t think of anyone who would make a better father,” Dean said quietly.  
  
“Do you know why I said that?” Cas asked.  
  
“Because you believed it?”  
  
Cas tipped his head. “Yes, but because of this, because of what I saw of you underneath the veneer that you show the world. You have always had so much love to give. I think that until I insisted on us, on having a family, you never received enough in return.”  
  
Dean interrupted. “Sam…”  
  
Cas held up a hand. “Of course Sam loves you, but for you that would not have been enough.”  
  
“Jesus Cas, you make me sound like some kind of…sponge, or freaky succubus,” Dean said.  
  
“That is not my intention. I am attempting, albeit badly, to let you know…” Cas stopped. He ran his hand through his hair, making it even more disheveled. Dean loved that Cas’s hair seemed to have a mind of its own, that it was incapable of staying in one style for more than five minutes at a time. “I just want you to know that it’s okay to be sappy and maudlin.” Cas sighed in frustration. “I apologize. I don’t know how to say what I want to say.”  
  
"Cas, you don't need to say anything, really." Dean squeezed Cas's hand.  
  
"I know, but I want to. You have never given yourself credit for the wonderful person that you are. You have never believed that you deserved good things in life; that you deserved to be saved. But surely now, you should see that, you should be able to tell how wonderful you are. Look at what you've accomplished. You've helped raise a wonderful, amazing, bright, loving young woman who is going to do fabulous things. You have made me very happy, happier than I thought possible, and you've made our little house a home that I am sure Leda will come back to again and again. Do you realize how special you are?"  
  
Dean was bright red, his freckles standing out in relief against his flaming cheeks. "Cas," he said thickly. He was not going to cry, this day was emotional enough as it was, and this was just...well, he wasn't sure. While he was embarrassed, there was also a tight warm feeling around his heart (he really hoped it wasn't a heart attack, he was 50 after all) that seemed to be spreading outward. "You don't...I...Jesus Cas, that's a lot to lay on a guy."  
  
Cas gripped Dean’s hand tightly. "Dean you have never seen your full potential, your full worth. That is all that I have seen, and Leda is proof of that. Your childhood was never meant to be as it was. There had been a tear in the natural order of things because of Azazel. Your childhood was meant to continue as it had started, in a loving family with your mother, father and Sam, and that was stolen from you. I had hoped to give some of that back to you with Leda."  
  
Dean cupped Cas's chin in his hand and leaned into him. "And you," Dean whispered.  
  
A ghost of a smile appeared on Cas's lips. "And me."  
  
"You did give that to me, Cas. We made that together, and I...god, that you even thought to ask me and then knew to wait me out, I can't thank you enough for that."  
  
"Dean, you don't have to thank me. I will admit that while I wanted you to have the happiness and love you deserved, I had selfish reasons for asking you as well." Cas laced his fingers with Dean's. "I wanted to have a family too, I wanted..." Cas sighed. "If I am to be honest, I wanted you, and I wanted to be with you every day. I got that. I got what I wanted. And I got Leda, too."  
  
"Cas, I swear to god, if you make me cry, I will banish you," Dean said.  
  
Cas wiped his thumb across Dean's damp cheek. "It's too late for that, Dean." Dean scowled, but did not follow through on his threat.  
  
Dean wiped at his eyes, staring at the wetness on his fingers as if he could make himself stop crying just by thinking hard enough. "Man. Do NOT tell Sammy about this."  
  
Cas laughed, a soft, puff of air. "I will not. This is for us.” Dean made a small sound of acknowledgement, but seemed disinclined to continue the conversation any further. Dean scooted closer to Cas and rested his head on Cas’s shoulder. Cas draped his arm over Dean and they lay there in quiescence. It was Cas who interrupted the lull with a surprised murmur. “The city of angels.”  
  
“Hm? What’s that, Cas?” Dean asked.  
  
“Leda chose to go to college in the city of angels – Los Angeles,” Cas said, a small smile blooming on his face.  
  
“I was wondering when you would notice that,” Dean said, returning Cas’s smile. He kissed Cas, their lips soft against each other, full of thanks for the past 20 years and promise for the next 20. “We did good, yeah?”  
  
“We did very good. Very good, indeed,” Cas agreed. **  
**


End file.
